Mindworm: The Late Edition

I get Earworm all the time. For those of you who don’t know, Earworm is that pesky phenomenon of having a suck-ass song stuck in your head for hours, sometimes days, on end. The last episode of Earworm I had resulted in the destruction of Mira’s favorite toy: The singing Yo Gabba Gabba guitar. Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts, and they’ll come right back to you…Think happy thoughts….Yeah.

Last night I had that other irritating phenomenon. I call it Mindworm. I don’t know if there’s a technical term for it but it goes something like this: Hubby snores. I wake up and kick him. He doesn’t feel a thing. Kick. Nothing. And then the brain starts a churnin’ with inane thoughts and I can’t turn it off. Sometimes for hours.

So I thought I’d share the wealth with you.

~ I need to stop reading Perez Hilton. It’s a time-suck and he’s mean.

~Yesterday Perez reported that Anthony Bourdain dissed Mario Batali’s show Spain…On the Road Again because it co-stars Gwyneth Paltrow. “Why would you go to Spain with the one bitch who refuses to eat ham?”

~Oh yeah, that’s why I read Perez Hilton. I’m mean, too. Gwyneth Paltrow: Freakshow.

~Somebody once told me I looked like Gwyneth. Who was that? Can’t remember. Whoever it was, he’s an asshole.

~I read the book club selection on the plane to Greece; I have no idea anymore what it was about?

~ Need to Google: Early Onset Alzheimers

~Hubby thinks I look like Blondie from the comic strip. Grateful he doesn’t look like Dagwood.

~You know what’s gross? People who put fruit in cottage cheese. Gag.

~I do not have Parkinson’s. I do not have Parkinson’s. I do not have Parkinson’s.

~Grocery list: corn tortillas, limes, Band-Aids, edamame.

~Will eating too much soy really make hubby grow boobs?

~Why can’t I link on Twitter? I’m an asshole.

~If I think the curse word but don’t say it, do I owe the Bad Word Jar?

~I used to have a really cute butt. Now, not so much.

~Call tomorrow to schedule mammogram. 40 sucks.

~Would it be wrong to deep fry edamame?

~Awesome stepkid R is suddenly showering every day. Shower=Girls?

~Condoms???

~Would it be a mistake to put mint in the garden this year?

~What the hell is chervil, anyways?

~If this mosquito bite on my toe doesn’t quit itching, I’m going to kill myself.

~Need to Google: West Nile Virus.

~Jamie Oliver: love him or hate him?

~Does Miss D. really think I love Miss M. more than her? Do I act like it?

~Think happy thoughts, happy thoughts, and they’ll come right back to you…

Tagged as: annoying celebrities, earworm, gwyneth paltrow, perez hilton, snoring