7 Things My Mother Told Me That Were Bullshit:
-You’re going to poke an eye out.
-Eating broccoli makes you pretty.
-Boys don’t marry the cow if they get the milk for free.
-Your hair is actually quite pretty, dear.
-It will only hurt a little.
-Good things come to those who wait.
-You are a very brave girl.
7 Things My Mother Told Me That I Thought Were Bullshit but were Actually True:
-You have a very good brain, so use it.
-Apply sunscreen.
-Take a sweater, just in case.
-Everything in moderation.
-Boys don’t give roses to girls who pick noses.
-That peckerwood with the long hair you’re dating is all wrong for you.
-No matter how big you get, you still need your Mama.
Happy Birthday, Mom. Thanks for being my anchor in this scary, turbulent sea.
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