Happiness: Five for Ten

May 12, 2010

Ah, the elusive little devil that is Happiness. Everyone wants it. Everyone seeks it. Heck, our forefathers declared that it was our right to pursue it.

But what is happiness, really? And why is it that so often, the things we thought would make us happy, when we finally get them…don’t? At least not in the ways we thought they would?

I have no answers for you.

What? You think I’m freakin’ Yoda or something? You think I have any clue what makes you tick and shimmy with joy? I have a hard enough time figuring out how to make myself happy–I’ve got no time for you! Do your own reconnaissance!

Ahem. Anyways, Jen and Sarah decided that we needed to write about happiness today, so here goes! And don’t forget to check the links over at Jen and Sarah’s site–there are some mucho talented writers participating in Five for Ten!


When I pushed two tiny, howling bundles of endless need out of my body, I had no idea that my idea of happiness was going to change. The things I reveled in as a non-mother? Poof! Up in smoke, boy and girls. Things that once ranked high on the Joy-o-Meter suddenly had no significance whatsoever.

You think I’m kidding? Allow me to illustrate.

8 Things That Made Me Happy Before I Had Children

1. An hour-long soak in the bathtub with music, novel, bubbles.

2. Cuddling on the couch with hubs, watching back-to-back re-runs of the X-Files.

3. Ditching plans to cook dinner in favor of Takeout in Skivvies night.

4. Massage with “Relaxation” Lavender Oil.

5. Marathon day of shopping in the spring. Purchases: flirty sundresses, high-heeled sandals, mini-skirt.

6. Sunday mornings at the bookstore, latte in hand, leisurely scouting out the newest offerings.

7. A good, hard, 60 minute workout at the gym. Long shower to follow.

8. Wine.


See what I mean? Those joys are shallow little husks of things. It wasn’t until motherhood that I understood what things really bring the happy.

8 Things That Make Me Happy Now That I Have Children

1. A 5 minute shower without interruption/comments from the peanut gallery, such as: “Hey Mama, if your boobs were any bigger, we could play boxing on them,” and (pointing southward towards prime real estate) “Harryboy!”


2. Being able to watch a TiVo’d episode of The Daily Show without falling asleep during the opening monologue.

3. Serving and consuming dinner without critiques like: “Piss, piss, piss! I don’t like this dinner!”

4. That awesome numby-cream stuff that they give you for your poor, battered pikachu the day after giving birth.

5. Internet shopping. Chez Target. Purchases: skirt with elastic waistband, muffin-top-concealing t-shirts, Spanx.

6. Sunday mornings when you aren’t awakened before 6:30 am by any of the following: farting/snoring husband, vomiting cat, bad dream, hacking cough, Pull-up that ate Hiroshima.

7. Working out for 20 minutes (instead of the usual 15) before gym child-care employee tracks you down and informs you that your kid won’t stop crying/flailing/shreiking. So they’re kicking you out. Again.

8. Wine. Well, okay, not every kind of happiness changed. I’m still human.

Now I know, you’re thinking that I’m a grouch and a crank and frankly, I oftentimes am. That’s just what you have to live with when you hang with me. I am SnarkWoman.

But even though motherhood has changed me, and has changed my idea of happiness, I cannot say, in the least, that it was a bum trade.

Bath in Peace vs Smell of New Baby? Guess.

{ 1 comment… read it below or add one }

Article Submission July 16, 2012 at 12:39 am

Dn1eX7 Say, you got a nice post.Really thank you! Awesome.


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