This back to school nonsense is exhausting, don’t you think? As happy as I was to send my peevish, summer-weary Minxes off to school, I must admit that I miss lazy summer mornings.
Mornings when school is in session? Freakshows. Particularly in August/September, when our routine is rickety and out of shape.
And speaking of out of shape? I’m feeling just that way. Maybe it’s my age, maybe it’s the burden of having two sets of pigtails to shape and two backpacks to organize and–just my luck–two completely different school schedules to remember (let alone follow)…but readers? KitchyWitchy be drained.
I couldn’t do a sassy shake of my moneymaker if you promised me a Clooney-BonJovi sandwich. Well, okay, maybe for that, but where all other things are concerned, this arse be draggin’. I need energy, I need simplicity, I need speed, I need…upper arms that don’t jiggle like turkey wattles when I wave goodbye at the bus stop.
Thus begins the back to school Resurrection of the Regimen. That vile combination of exercise and eating things that don’t come in Twizzler form. Buzzkill, I know. But life’s getting too crazy for an aged and floppy girl to handle, so you buck up and deal.
Now you know me too well to believe that I’m going to go all Paltrow on you and post recipes for sprouts and wood chips, but do expect some healthy offerings. I saw this recipe and decided to give it a go because it’s something quick I can down while I wrestle with pigtails and search for missing socks. It’s actually pretty good; it’s not too sweet, which I like. And it gets fruit in my belly first thing, which is lovely, because otherwise it tends to not happen.
Note: if you don’t want a yellowish-green, vomity looking smoothie, REALLY brew strong green tea, okay? I didn’t listen to that part of the recipe the first time I made this and the color almost sent me over the edge. Also, if you like sweeter things or have a particularly tart kiwi/pineapple, feel free to add a little honey or agave nectar.
So here’s to September. May the days calm down and the routines grow into well-oiled machines. Because this mommy wants her groove back.
Antioxidant Smoothie
from O Magazine
serves 1
1 kiwi, peeled and sliced
1/2 cup pineapple cubes
1 banana (preferably frozen)
1/4 cup strong green tea, cooled
2 to 4 ice cubes
Combine all ingredients in a blender. Process until smooth. Serve immediately.
{ 50 comments… read them below or add one }
I totally feel you! But what is seeming to work for me is squeezing in walk/run seesions with my neighbor at 4:45 in the morning. Obscene, I know, but I am pumped the rest of the day. On the days I don’t do it, I am literally dragging my ass and my three kids. It also helps when you see the shadow of something furry and not cute when you are out on these walks. It motivates you to haul your ass into a run…
Hang in there Kitch! You’ll get your groove back. You are too fabulous not too!
“go all Paltrow on you”
Still laughing at that one!
Amen. It’s amazing how quickly “routines” go awry…took me a week to get my head back on semi-straight! Sounds like a good way to start…whereas I’m usually left weak from waving cuz my tummy is empty and upset…
New routines are always tough. This sounds like the perfect way to get a boost of morning energy to make it through crazy mornings before school!
You know what’s awesome for energy? Maca powder. Seriously.
… it’s also good for libido ;)
Was JUST thinking the same thing this morning about back to school …. and it’s just my oldest going back thus far – kindergarten and preschool hasn’t even started yet. So – yeah – need my groove back too. Thanks for this. I am a smoothie girl.
Now I am stuck with the mental image of a Clooney-Jon Bon Jovi sandwich for the rest of the day… mmmmmhhhhh
The recipe sounds divine (I love green tea! And fruit!). We haven’t even started back to school yet, but I am dreading the crazy busy, early mornings. We have to be up and out by 9 am this week and it’s practically killing me. I’m not looking forward to next week, when I’ll have to have four kids out the door by 7:30 am. Ugh.
Mmmmmm…Clooney.
I mean: Mmmmmm….Smoothie.
I don’t want to be one of those people who says “Lady, you crazy” with regards to floppiness (because you are as you look great), but needing an energy boost is a completely different thing–they are my favorite things to get if we’re out and about and I’m dying for something to eat.
I think we’ve settled nicely into a back to school routine. I just hope I can keep it up. I’m notorious for letting things slide.
I think I would like smoothies more if I could get the fruit really, really smooth. I don’t like drinking something and then having something chunky fall in my mouth.
I wouldn’t have expected wood chips from you, but I am rather surprised there’s no vodka or gin in it. wth?
I might pass on this one, mainly because of the lack of liquor. And for some reason fruit smoothies don’t appeal to me. Unless there’s berries…. lotsa berries…
I also come from the camp of the jiggly arms and the sagging arse, and here are a few tips I follow that seem to help:
1. Put a tablespoon or two of flax meal in everything you can get away with… pancakes, waffles, meatloaf, muffins, etc.
2. Brown/green lentils. Eat ’em. They go really well with brown rice and diced tomatoes (fresh or tinned, doesn’t matter). Oh, and lotsa sea salt.
3. Eat smaller amounts six or so times a day.
4. Oh yeah, and walk 2 to 4 miles everyday.
That’ll melt the jiggles right off you. Of course, what I described is probably *this* far from the wood chippage, but … whatever.
Good luck! ;)
My sole purpose for exercising is eating. I will admit that I would prefer that the fat that giggles under my arms would at least be fluid in its movement-when I wave goodbye, that my fat travel in the same direction.
Every year when school start it’s like a new beginning ( a new year). Always, a good time for another chance to make resolutions.
Cheers to keeping your arse from dragging on the floor.
I know how you feel, and I don’t have any pigtails to fix! Love smoothies!
Oh my gosh, can I ever relate. I could have written this post myself. I’ve got my own freakshow every morning (and again during homework/dinner time), two kids in two schools for the first time, and one tired and worn-out mama (that’s me!). Smoothies are a great way for me to get out of this rut!
Are you trying to KILL ME?!?!?! Because I choked on my coffee when I read “turkey wattles.” I mean, “EXACTLY!” That is the most apt description humanly possible! And I’m glad somebody’s wattles giggle because mine merely jiggle. . . : p Where do I sign up for the giggle?
Are you trying to KILL ME?!?!?! Because I choked on my coffee when I read “turkey wattles.” I mean, “EXACTLY!” That is the most apt description humanly possible! And I’m glad somebody’s wattles giggle because mine merely jiggle. . . : p Where do I sign up for the giggle?
Sorry for the dup, my finger had a spasm. And I have to confess to my own back-to-school issues as regards the condition of my mind: You wrote “Bon Jovi,” I read “Bono” and which left me my stomach feeling a little unsettled and me thinking, “Really? Hmm. Not so much.” But then the world righted itself and I realized, “Oh . . . ! Yu m m y !”
The back to school stuff gets us doesn’t it. My mornings aren’t the bad thing it is the evening it seems like I just come home get make dinner and bed so we can make it on the other side! I am almost surprise to say this… but this looks really good! (sounds healthy and looks good don’t usually go together for me)
Really great picture again!
With regard to the draining scheduled, I hear ya sista. Blah.
My daughter started college, so I asked her if she wanted me to take her to her first day and she said no. :(
That shake looks delicious!
Not being a fan of tea (which is a SuperFood sin, I realize) I have a different fave smoothie recipe:
1 banana
1/2 cup each nonfat plain yogurt and soy milk
rounded 1/2 cup frozen blueberries
heaping 1/2 cup frozen strawberries
1 scoop vanilla flavored whey protein powder (optional)
This makes a big 20-ish ounce smoothie. I make one every morning all summer long. It gets me through to lunch no problem. And it’s not, um, er… green.
I need easy dinners. Oh, and lunches that my kid will actually eat at school. Today he yelled, “I HATE SANDWICHES” when I offered that for lunch. And we’re not even in school for another two weeks.
Oh how I can relate and all I have is a boy with a bowl cut (it looks stylish on him, I swear!) and a lunchbox.
Thanks for the well-oiled machine wishes.
I agree that it is hard to get back into the swing of things. I’m trying to adjust to being back in school as a graduate student. Thank you for this nutritionally packed recipe. It will cool me down on these warm afternoons!
I am working my squishy bits and getting in shape thanks to Jillian :-) But as for healthy eating, that is not really happening.
The fact that this isn’t a protein shake that drys on the side of the shaker makes me want to have my husband try this.
You have me all giggly over here with all your imagery. Love it. But now that I’ve met you, you can’t fool me saying you have jiggly under arms, uh uh.
I’m going to have to dust off my blender and throw this one together. Sounds like the perfect pick me up in the morning (after my coffee of course!)
I’m also droooooling over the mmmmmanwich. You keep your smoothie. :P
Honey, if this will make me get my groove back I’m all over it! And I’ve got a little Agave in the fridge just in case I’m having a sugar craving kind of day! Thanks for looking out for all our arses ;)
Pigtails are summarily rejected by the pint-sized people in our house, but I do struggle with the bird’s nest every morning. Does she knot it up by hand every night before she falls asleep??
And I’ve been making smoothies, too. I toss in some spinach and flaxseed for fun and extra greenery. Can’t even taste it. (Really.)
I’ve missed you, Kitch! All-things-picky-baby have left me with little surfing time. (Good thing the little guy’s cute.)
Ok, first, why can’t I see any of your pics anymore? Grr, I hate technical difficulties. Second, I’m not believing for a second that you have giggly arms. No way, no how. But, I bet this can get your blood pumping. Here’s to the start of another school year! May it be a smooth one :)
Sounds pretty yum…I hate early mornings even if I am a morning person…will give it a whirl… xxx
My ass be draggin’ too…I’ll give this a try. Chin up, TKW!!
So many gems in this I don’t even know where to start. Paltrow’s sprouts and wood chips got me snorting water, so maybe I’ll go with that.
I can’t relate to the back to school craze but the stuff about turkey wattles, and old age crap – yeah, totally. Except I do think we’re often our own worst critics. But whatever we need to tell ourselves to get off our lazy arse and into something bouncy and healthy right?
Oh and KitchyWitchy? LOVE it. Can I call you that from now on? ;-)
For me a juicer is a godsend. I’d be lost without it and hopefully it will restore some whizz.
“Rickety routines”…EXACTLY! I feel like we are all moving in slow motion.
Smoothie looks delish.
May the routines become routine post haste!
Yeah, I miss summer mornings here too — not because I didn’t have to worry about getting kids to school but because the TRAFFIC around here was so much better! Going anywhere before noon would test the patience of a saint. And I’m far from one.
Green Tea haters–substitute white grape juice or something like that. It will still be good for you!
Cheryl, my kids won’t touch a sandwich, either. Not even PBJ or grilled cheese. It makes lunch a real issue, doesn’t it? Thank god they like hummus and crackers and (cringe) those Lunchable thingys.
Justine–Kitchywitchy is fine…actually, anything besides bitch is usually okay with me.
Laura: some others have said that they can’t see pics–I have no idea? Try typing the blog addy into your browser and getting to the site that way…it’s worked for a few folks that way?
Glad I’m not the only one feeling like the proverbial slow turtle nowadays.
Oh I hear you. It’s madness around here all around – and school doesn’t even start around here until next week. I didn’t bank on all this extra stuff I would have to think about. I have NO room left in my brain…or on my butt. I need to shed a few too…but who has time to exercise?
cute, funny, and SO TRUE! found you over at pinchmysalt. yes routine, routine, routine… 3 kids in school here- kids off to school and mommy off to the gym. had a smoothie myself this morning greek yogurt- still tired.
~Chef Louise
OK, A? You’re smoking. B? It’s 10:30 at night, in a chilly house and the only one going back to school these days is me, but that smoothie still looks tasty.
No, no, no! Don’t go telling me it gets HARDER once school starts. NO! I refuse to believe it. I’ve been waiting 5 years for this. Please, TKW, tell me me it’ll be okay. (and that I don’t have to drink something with kiwi in it to make it through the morning. :)
Oh Lord. Do I have to? My daughter we here for a month pushing this ghastly greenish drink she made by putting all these veggies in a machine and liquifying them.
I want a milkshake. A green tea one would be OK.
Looks like a pretty tasty way to get one’s groove back! Good luck!
Best,
Bonnie
You will get your groove back…I’m still working on mine. I feel like an assembly line worker in the mornings between 5:45 and 7:00. Then it is total bliss and quiet. And then, I have to go to the gym. ‘sigh’
Mmmm, smoothie!
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