My last few posts have been sorta sweet and remarkably snark-free, and lemme tell ya, it’s about to damn near kill me.
If I’m not mean or nasty on a regular basis, I start to get depressed. So, for purely selfish reasons, I present…Gratitude on Monday.
Dear Universe, or God, or Mother Nature, or whomever it is that we answer to:
Thank you for teaching me, so early on, what was and what was not an appropriate source of protein, vitamins and minerals.
Thank you for a source of clean drinking water.
Thank you for teaching me, at the tender age of 7, the importance of Clearasil. I got the message, so why did you make me endure that mid-nose monstrosity for six whole months? A six-month zit is a bit excessive, don’t you think?
Thank you for pants. Apparently, I didn’t see their benefit right away, but I am now firmly on the “pants are good” side of the spectrum.
Thank you for my razor sharp fashion sense. I don’t understand why Project Runway keeps turning my application down?
Thank you for this hangover. Without it, I would still be drinking Rumpleminze.
And finally, thank you for sending concrete, definitive proof that I was not meant to be a redhead. I was hoping to channel Dana Scully, but alas, I look like some bizarre Molly Ringwald/Lara Flynn Boyle hybrid. Even my husband was skeebed. I’ll stick with the generic blonde…promise.
Sincerely,
TKW
{ 55 comments… read them below or add one }
LOVE! #1) You were an adorable kid and #2) you are a hilarious adult.
You had me at the first photo. Love it! I too need to be snarky now and then. :D
Snarky is obviously a lot of fun. At least I had fun reading this!
But I love your snarky-ness! Bitch all you want girl..I will bitch right along with ya!
If truth must be told, I came to this site originally for the food, but the snark-i-ness kept me coming back for more. Maybe I’ll try your recipes – they do look good, but the humor is a mainstay.
And, I seem to recall a Rumpleminz hangover worthy of curing me of that stuff – not fun. Yick!
MOAR TURTLENEKZ and MOM JEANZ!!!!!11!!!11!!!1!!! Mondo can help you with that!
Oh come on, Kitch. Pants are totally overrated.
;)
Project Runway turned you down!?! Thanks for the early morning smile ;~)
Snarky is fun! Please may I have some more??
Oh, this is just a wonderfully, spirit lifting post. I’m grinning ear to ear. But I really think I could beat you in your fashion sense. Oversized shirt, leggings, and HUGE earrings?
Kitch, you need to let the snark out. It’s not healthy to keep it bottled up inside.
And really, what the heck were our parents thinking in the 70’s with those hideous, polyester outfits?
When you live in North Dakota, where the hell do you go to shop?! The whole State never got out of the 50’s and 60’s.
Daddy, you commented! I am beyond thrilled! Love you, WalletMan.
I had a 6 month zit on my chin and it was huge. Why must we put through these challenges in life?!
LOVE the turtleneck tucked into the jeans look – HOT!
On this truly craptastic Monday I needed your snark. Thanks for delivering!!! I gotta agree with you on the redhead thing… Glad you went back to “natural” blonde;)
I think we’ve all had that pant issue at one point or another. You make a very passable redhead. Much better than some of the fakes I’ve seen out there. Honest!
Love the snark! Keep it coming!
I just cannot get over how high we used to wear our pants!!!
You still got your funny on! Now, help me find mine. I seem to have lost it!
LOVE this post. What an adorable kid you were. It’s lovely that you still have all of these pictures of you, and lovelier still that you shared them with us. I LOL’d at your fashion sense. I think we’ve all been there, done that. And part of the reason I’m half-grateful I’ve lost most of my childhood pics. Especially incriminating ones.
Love it! Especially the no pants photo. Apparently, the no pants era catapulted you right into the high waisted jeans era. :)
I love me some Project Runway and I am no way shape or form a fashionista. I have no idea why I like it so much. And I don’t think you look *that* bad as a red head.
You are SO brave with those photos! I have ours hidden in a closet. A hidden closet, as a matter of fact. If we ever have a fire, I won’t be grabbing them. The one of me channeling my inner Liza Minnelli. . . OMG!!!
Hope the birthday celebration for your hunk of burning love went well!
Molly Ringwald/Lara Flynn Boyle? You really hit the nail on the heat with that one! :) I think everyone tries out red at least once, so you’re in good company.
Cracking up….
I love all these pictures. Thank you so much for putting them up. And you are gorgeous. I wonder whether I should have eaten more boogies… ?!
Just an FYI, I have had to shut down my blog for a short time, due to threats and harassment. Might even have to start up a new one. ; (
So don’t forget me.
Soccermom
Soccermom, that sucks! Hackers–argh! I won’t forget about you, promise.
I love, love, love the blast from the past pictures! Especially your 80’s stylin’ jeans, turtleneck and hair! I’ve got to dig up my pic – I swear we could have been twins. Or at least, sista’s from another mista!
I totally remember the acid wash up-to-your-armpit jeans plus raglan sleeve turtleneck look. I dont care what you say, it was the 80s and you rocked it! I’m really, really sorry about the 6 month zit, though – were you young enough to think it made you look older and was thus cool? (“Dana, you look at least NINE with that thing!”)
Joda, I love you. You can always make me laugh.
Dana Scully is overrated!
I think there may be a connection between the diet of boogers and toilet water and the six-month zit. . .
Eww, I hadn’t thought of that. Stephane, you are a genius. Toilet water and boogers DO lead to bad skin…shall we contact the Dermatology Association with our findings?
The Mom jeans in the Project Runway submission photo take the cake. Though the one with no pants is pretty great too.
I love hilarious pictures from the past!
Thanks for the snicker this morning. It was much needed!
If there was a “like” button, I would have clicked it 42 times.
I needed those laughs.
I’d really like to know how we ever got our pants jacked up so high. I swear, I wore my San Francisco Riding Gear a good three inches above my waistline. Oh, speaking of high-waisted pants, have you watched any old Journey videos lately? Steve Perry’s pants make me gag just a little. Ack! What is the term…Camel Toes???
Snarky is such a good way to start the week–you can either move up to pleasant as the week moves on OR dip deeper into the snarky pool but if you start out all happy and pleasant and become snarky…everyone will smirk and ask “Why are you in such a snarky mood.” Something to think about. Cute pictures and yes, I will stand with you on the side of “pants are good.”
♥
Ungourmet: You have me laughing! I didn’t think men could get Camel Toe? I gotta go Google me some Steve Perry now!
Love it! Pants are good. Clean water is awesome and you just made me smile and keep smiling so you rock!
Love all the old pics!
Welcome back, her royal Queen o’ Snark!
Just what I needed on a Monday, Kitch – you’re irresistible!
Oooh, the best kind of snark is when you make fun of yourself! Love the photos! Thanks for the laugh!
What a hoot! I have some of those photos too. Gee, I can’t share them because I don’t have a clue how to scan them into the computer. Oh well–too bad!!
Thanks for a good laugh. I was a little worried that you’d lost your edge!!
Best,
Bonnie
Except for the zit photo you have failed at humiliating yourself! And even that isn’t too bad since we can ALL relate to it. I could do better in terms of cringe-worthy photos….. Honey, your cuteness outweighs even those hysterical jeans we all wore in high school. Sorry. You are just too cute!
OMG, I loved the “no pants” picture!! Hilarious! Thanks for the smile today!
I just ended a long day at work with your post and I laughed the whole way down! Thanks for letting us in on some of your pics :) Love it.
Love this!
I’d like to see:
Dress code: Pants Optional
printed on an invitation.
And I don’t see what’s wrong with your red hair…
You look great in all these photos! Truly! And the one with the pimple? I didn’t notice it at all. (For real.)
You are too cute for words! (okay so those were words but really those were cute pics!)
Too funny. I just finished the video for mom and dad’s 60th wedding anniversary and went through years (and years and years AND years) of old family photos… what a great idea. I was just laughing on the floor, alone.
:)
Valerie
Loved this! This was a great post for Monday!
I’m all for snarky, but this is all too adorable and at your own expense—that’s still just plain nice and generous to the rest of us (some of whose geekhood. You tried to break free of sweetness but it seems to follow you everywhere (along with us loyal readers).
I like picture #4. Hilarious.
Feeling sorry for Soccermom. How does that HAPPEN?
I love the protein source!!