Those of you who know me well are probably aware of the fact that I overshare on a regular basis. I can’t help it. It’s just what I do.
Earlier this week, I was lamenting my Suckage To-Do List with ck and Sarah, and it struck me that something this wrong should be shared. With everyone. Well, maybe everyone except Mama and Daddy, so if you two are reading, stop now, okay?
TKW’s Suckage To-Do List, week of 11/8
~Figure out why Harryboy cannot meow. Can cats get laryngitis? (Answer: yes, they can. And they require antibiotics to clear it up, which I’ve so far been too lazy to obtain…I’m kind of enjoying the peace.)
~Call a complete stranger on the phone and offer to chat/show them around the neighborhood (*choking sound*)
~F&*^ing grocery store
~F&*^ing laundry
~Call to find out why the Pretty Little Kill Boxes for the voles have not arrived yet
~Appointments: Miss M’s parent teacher conference, D.’s orthodontist, volunteer at school Thurs. afternoon, Ob/Gyn, Neurologist.
~Try to plunge toilet (because some dolt, after she flushed, accidentally knocked her vial of Tingly Happy Lube into the swirling commode.)
~Call plumber?
~Schedule mammogram
~Figure out why our water is suddenly tasting metallic?
~F&*^ing dinner plan for next week
~Attempt to locate winter coats, boots, hats, mittens.
~Purchase new mittens.
~Snow tires?
~Exercise 3x (hahahahaha)
~Find time and inspiration to create witty blog post, comment on other blogs, edit photographs.
Well, obviously that last item didn’t happen because I’m sharing my freaking to-do list on my blog. And I say, a week containing that amount of sheer suckage deserves lobster.
Lots and lots of lobster. With a zippy dipping sauce. Who’s coming over to join me?
Chipotle Remoulade
makes 1 3/4 cups
from Bon Appetit magazine
1 1/2 cups mayonnaise
3 tablespoons chopped fresh cilantro
2 1/2 tablespoons fresh lime juice
2 chipotle chiles from canned chipotle chiles in adobo, finely chopped
kosher salt
Freshly ground black pepper
Combine first 4 ingredients in a bowl and whisk well to blend. Season to taste with salt and pepper.
Feel free to share your weekly suckage with me in the comments section. Misery loves company.
Don’t miss Rebecca’s post about food and memory at From the Monkey Bars. Click here to read her beautiful words!
{ 59 comments… read them below or add one }
I’ll pass on the lobster, but I’ll take a dose of you anyday. Okay…that didn’t sound right. Ummm, you know what I mean right? :-)
And the lube?….Well I’m not going there.
Exercise 3 times? Just putting that ON a to-do list should earn extra calories burned.
Also, I don’t like lobster. Can we still be friends?
You don’t like lobster? How is that even possible? I’m stunned and I don’t even know you…oh, well more for the rest of us–lol
I know. I don’t like shrimp either. I wish I did. In fact, one time I tried shrimp wrapped in bacon just because I thought bacon made everything better. Not true. :)
Me! Count me in…I’ll bring the cocktails.
…ps…LMAO…ha ha ha ha ha!
Wow, that list sucks.
Oh dear. I can’t even think of anything else to say except oh dear. I hope the suckage subsides for you soon.
Seriously, I have a reminder on my email to schedule my mamo, and i have hit snooze like 20 times already. why is it so hard to just make the freakin appt?
PS you have a really long list.
Ahh, this is what I do too! I think I’m being so clever by putting these reminders on my calendar – sometimes 6 months or a year out – but then I still procrastinate. It’s ridiculous really, but I still do it!
Overshare anytime. I think your suckage list is worse than mine…. though we do have some dupes on them…… Good luck with your list….. Thanks for the lobster :-).
Sounds like my to do list, TKW! Making appointments, now for my whole family and my mother, has become the bane of my existence. The evil voice mail systems that never allow an opt out to speak with a human being certainly form their own particular ring of hell.
How about my suckage for next week? I have to work over for three days so that on Friday I can volunteer to work at the Indian pow wow at Baby Girl’s school. Yes. I’m going to work late so that I can voluntarily be surrounded by a room of screaming five and six year olds. I’ve clearly lost my mind.
Jennifer, clearly you have.
For that remoulade sauce and some lobster to dip in it, I’ll listen to you, wh…, bi… I mean relate all of your miseries! Chin up, it’ll probably get worse but I hope not.
Best,
Bonnie
If I head right over, can I crumple up my list? And will you promise to crumple up yours?? And drink with me???
I see several you can knock off. Tell the cat to handle the voles, for instance.
Now you have time to come for a visit. Bring along some of of your Wednesday libation.
Your to do list made me laugh…and your lobster salivate…I want it… You’re great! :) xxx
If only I could break up with my to do list. It’s never got anything glam on it. It’s all scoop the cat box, cook the damn food, write the freaking checks. And now that we’re getting into the holidays my lists will have exciting notes like make jam, bake cookies….none of which are for me.
You weren’t kidding. That list does suck. Suckage of this week in the south: Strep throat, anitbiotic related diarrhea, PMS-ing moms trying to plan a school Santa Breakfast, pissed off colleagues, and the Teacher of the Year voting (AKA the popularity contest.)
Did I also mention that I found gray after only 4 weeks since my last hair appointment?
I will join you for your feast and bring the Cosmos, baby!
Maria, I have WHITE hair showing through after 4 weeks. Now *that* sucks.
Oh, Jesus.
Mine includes blowing insulation into my attic, under deadline. But my suckage list has no pets with medical issues, and no plumbing. But alas – no lobster, either – and it’s my favorite.
Maybe the water tastes funny because your lube is leaking into it? LOL
Erin–bwahahahahaha.
I can’t really complain, because my daughter is 18 and if I text her that all I need to do tonight is mop the kitchen floor and empty the dishwasher, somehow when I get home the floor is mopped, the dishwasher is emptied, and being the over achiever that she is, she’s cleaned out my refrigerator and reminds me that “this cabinet” is for glasses and coffee mugs, and the gravy boat does not belong there!
What will I do when she moves out??!!
Keep on trucking KW – and you had me at chipotle :D
Lobster and remoulade!?! count me in I’ll bring martinis!
I wouldn’t even know where to start with lobster. It scares me.
Elastamoms Suckage To-Do List
F*&%ing laundry
More F&^%ing laundry
Make next week’s menu
Grocery store
Contact 90 failing students and try to get them to pass
MIL’s for dinner
Help my Mom move
Spend Friday night alone
PTA meeting
Tutor
Olivia’s scoliosis brace fitting appointment
exercise daily
eat perfectly—ha ha ha!!!
OK, that’s it. ;)
OH and work 40-50 hours!!!
Tiff, you may have me beat.
I hear a big suckage sound from this post. Lobster is an excellent reward to counter all of those sucky events. The only bad thing on my plate is that my coworkers are out and I’m responsible for taking care of their work. Suckage.
So get this to-do list. Hope you can cross some of the items off the list.
I wish I could send you a delicious Victory Golden Monkey beer because it’s my favorite “mellow-out” brews, as it sounds like you could use one. If it makes you feel any better, my week hasn’t been much better.
I won’t cure my ills with lobster, but I will be doing so with delicious barbecue tomorrow…it’s all about taking pleasure in comfort food, whatever that may be, right?
Here’s to a better week next week, right?
::clinks::
Just the name of that beer makes me feel better. I’ll take one!
I’m with Gibby. Let’s not share out to do’s. Let’s just start drinking. Ya with me??
Sorry, your to-do does totally suck! But lobster is awesome! And remoulade sauce? I’ll eat that on almost ANYTHING! Yum!
Lobster? Totally deserving, Kitch. That list, as a dear friend of mine from college would say, blows GOATS, if only for sheer length. Why in heaven’s name have you been put up to calling a complete stranger on the phone to offer to show him/her around the neighborhood? (Sorry, is my antisocial side showing?)
I’m absolutely dragging my drugged-up carcass into your time zone for dinner tonight.
Well I’m doing good on the exercise front, doing Jillian every single day (yes, hate me all you want) so I reckon I deserve to come over for some lobster. There is nothing better than lobster, nothing.
Hey Kitch! I’ll pass on the lobster, but don’t stop sharing! We love you!! You always make me laugh! (and not feel so alone! Thx!)
My only SUCKAGE this week was BIG:
1. Having to go back to F#$@#$#ing work after being in Vegas Baby!!
Going to the movie with the kids tonight – popcorn for supper – “Bad Mom Moment”
Let’s call it a month. I have the makings of lots of good cocktails. We can toast to all things suckage! Cross our fingers and hope for a better next month.
**Take dog to the groomers because the MIL let the 4 year old walk said dog and said dog ran into rancid pond.
**Try hard to to beat MIL into a bloody pulp!
On the not-so-sucky list…
**Fly immediately to Colorado to eat some kick ass lobster with TKW!!!
How I wish I could come eat lobster with you !!!!!!
Yeah but, yeah but, yeah but…
your to-do list is F&*^ing funny as shit. (Could you come to-do mine???)
ha,haa,ha,haa happy lube…..what is that? tingly has got me- I’m thinking sex toy/stuff am I right? Now I have visions in my head and I haven’t even got to the lobster yet!
Awesome as usual, love to share some lobster with you, I’ll bring the bubbly on day!
This post cracked me up. As most of your posts do. And I really liked the recipe too… too bad it made me yearn for some lobster, which at the moment is definitely out of my budget…
This dipping sauce seems like it would be perfect for sweet potato fries–the kind you can buy from Costco. Have you tried them? They might help you forget about your list. But then you would have to up the exercise to X4.
A list like that definitely deserves some lobster and I’d say a martini too! (Which I have been craving like crazy lately and totally sucks since there is no ‘substitute’ for a martini that I can find.)
Everyone, come on over. I’m buying. Because the list now includes: Try to talk Awesome Stepkid R. out of dropping out of high school his senior year. F$#^.
I am on my way. I can bring you more lube. Oversharers UNITE!
Geez, after reading your to-do list, I really could use one of those yummy cocktails in the next post down. ;D
I’m have all of my lovely girly appts. coming up too. Fun times!
To-do lists suck in general. Don’t you dream of a day void of plans??
More of both, please! Oversharing of lobster and witty blog posts encouraged.
I laughed out loud at this: ~Exercise 3x (hahahahaha). My local Y closed the studios for the week so yoga didn’t happen at all. I don’t know. Brisk walks just don’t ever seem to burn any calories anymore.
Oh dear, just saw the bit on Awesome Stepkid R. I’m hoping it’s teen angst (bad enough) and not serious consideration (even worse). Either way, {{{{{TKW}}}}}
This has been what I’m calling a “week of Mondays.” I think lobster & feisty chipotle sauce is the cure. Love the over-sharing. Leave the under-sharing to those ppl w/out kick-a*! blogs. :)
I would totally join you if it was realistic to do so. I love lobster, although refused to eat it for years. (once I saw a live lobster that I had picked out myself try to pull itself OUT of the boiling pot of water – the cook shoved the poor guy back in and slammed the lid – it took a long time to get over that mental image) In spite of that long winded story, I do still love the taste. ;)
PS, totally loved your list!
Oh, if only I COULD come over…I’d share my suckage to do list, bring everything we’d need for dinner so you wouldn’t add my visit to your suckage to do list, and then not eat the lobster b/c I’m highly allergic and it would suck to add ER visit to our joint suckage to do lists. (And i love when you overshare!)
I have to confess that I’ve never had lobster. Ever. But that dip sounds sooooo good I may just have to pick up a lobster or two for dinner tonight. Will you come over and cook it for me? I can’t stand the idea of boiling them alive.
I don’t like your list…but I have one more thing to add to it: email me your mailing address so I can send your cookbook, girl!
PS: I adore lobster!
I expect a follow-up post about what exactly you said to the plumber when he came to fish out your Tingly Happy Lube.
Craaaaaaaaaaaap. See? THIS is what happens when I’m months behind in blog reading. I miss out on the lobster invite.
And please tell me there’s a post in the works (or a video) about how you explained things to the plumber…