Reason I am a Goddess #167: A few days before a family trip, in anticipation of post-travel fatigue and harried nerves, I make a nourishing, healthful pot of soup or pan of lasagna, which will greet us, like a most welcome friend, in the freezer upon our return.
*coughhackhowl* Yeah, right.
Not only is that something I never do, I don’t even want to know a person who does that. I’m pretty sure people like that have secret, little hairy tails and immaculately organized laundry rooms.
In truth, there are few things more pathetic than the inside of my refrigerator post-vacation. I am one of those freaks who feels compelled to purge all items from my fridge prior to leaving, unless it’s a condiment. This is an act of self-preservation: I can’t face both a mountain of stinky laundry and a slimy crisper drawer. The laundry is insult enough.
The only thing more agonizing than post-vacation laundry? The maiden voyage to the Kroeger to stock said pathetic icebox. Am I the only one who loses her vacation buzz the minute those automatic doors whoosh open?
Bitter and persimmon-lipped, I haul my sulky butt through the aisles, tossing in any random item in my line of vision. Because girls with post-vacation buzzkill don’t make grocery lists.
200 bucks later, I shlep home, deposit my bounty in the refrigerator and realize that I’ve purchased nothing even resembling a meal. Clementines, Cheetos and parsley, anyone?
Desperate times like this call for a little Dinner Voodoo Magic. My viola! solution: deli rotisserie chicken. I can’t tell you how many times those spit-fired twirly birds have saved me when I’m out of dinner mojo.
As I often do when pulling dinner out of my ass making dinner on the fly, I turn to Asian flavors. I know my pantry will have a few snazzy treats in it– a benefit of being The Condiment Whore.
In the time it takes to steam some rice, I can whip up a vinaigrette, shred that twirly bird, chop some veggies and call it done. You know, because I can’t wait to tackle that laundry.
Chicken Lettuce Wraps with Spicy Vinaigrette
serves 4
1 store-bought rotisserie chicken, white meat removed (skinned); reserve dark meat for another use
1 English or hothouse cucumber, thinly sliced
1 cup shredded carrot
1/3 cup sweet onion, very thinly sliced
2 tablespoons seasoned rice vinegar
2 teaspoons honey
1-2 jalapeno peppers, sliced thinly, seeds removed if desired
Large green, red or romaine lettuce leaves, washed and spun dry
1/2 cup fresh mint and or/basil leaves, washed and spun dry
1/4 cup chopped toasted peanuts or almonds
Hot cooked rice (brown if you are really going Paltrow on SMAM)
Vinaigrette:
1/3 cup rice vinegar
4 tablespoons Tamari or soy sauce
2 1/2 tablespoons honey or agave nectar
2 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
1 tablespoon minced fresh ginger
1 teaspoon minced fresh garlic
1-2 teaspoons Sriracha or other spicy chili sauce (use 1 if you fear the heat)
1/4 teaspoon Chinese five-spice powder
1 teaspoon toasted sesame seeds
Combine vinaigrette ingredients ( 1/4 cup rice vinegar through sesame seeds) and whisk well; set aside.
In a small bowl, whisk together rice vinegar and honey. Add jalapeno, if desired. Toss sliced cucumbers, carrots and thinly sliced onion with honey/vinegar mixture. Set aside and let marinate for 10 minutes at room temperature.
Shred skinless chicken breast into bite sized pieces and toss with half of vinaigrette, adding more if necessary or to taste. Set aside the remaining dressing to drizzle over the top of the lettuce wraps.
Assembly:
Arrange lettuce leaves on a large platter with fresh mint and/or basil. Diners take a lettuce leaf, top it with a sprig or two of mint/basil, a dollop of rice, a generous spoonful of chicken, a few slivers of carrot/cucumber/onion mixture, and a sprinkle of chopped nuts and/or slices of jalapeno ( if desired.) Roll lettuce up, burrito-style, and enjoy.
**I don’t have a specific calorie count for this recipe, but trust me, it’s good for a post-vacation butt any time–you can eat this and smile.
{ 51 comments… read them below or add one }
Seriously, who the hell has time to cook anything BEFORE a trip? The non-negotiable at my house is that ALL laundry is washed and put away beofre we pull out of the driveway…’Cause that’s how this domestic diva rolls…
Regardless, there is nothing I like better than a chicken lettuce wrap. Another reason why I love you…Why is it that you live in the land of the ice and snow and not in balmy S. FLA?
Yum.
My dinner tonight was pathetic. I’m embarrassed by it. And I don’t even have the excuse of travel.
Okay…so you are normal? Sounds a lot like me…nothing like those, tasty time saving birds. I am amazed what you did come up with…I appreciate any one who can pull dinner out of…..
;D
Um…. pulling dinner out of your ass…. ??? Is it okay if I never come over for dinner?
Other than that, sounds like a treat! I too rely on the rotisserie chicken routine. Did you just plagiarize? (Dang, I’m in a feisty mood tonight!)
Seriously, sounds good. Come on over and make me dinner sometime. I have ingredients, so no magic tricks necessary. ;)
People make meals before a vacation??? Who in the hell is that organized to do something like that before a vacation?!?! I’m glad I don’t know any of those people either – I’d surely be compelled to smack them on occasion!
Don’t you just hate that the whole way home from vacation you are plagued with the thought of not only doing laundry but of going to the grocery store?!
Yeah, there is no pre-vacation cooking going on around here either. I like an empty fridge with nothing rotting when I return. Oh how I wish we had decent rotisserie chickens at the grocery store. Sadly if I want a roast chicken I have to roast it myself. Seriously kills the quick and easy factor. That being said, the lettuce wraps look great!
Those deli chickens have saved my rump on many an occasion! Your wraps look delicious!
I keep meaning to try your last lettuce wrap and now this – another one to tempt me into action! Sounds mean and yum and I want… And I agree with you on the frozen dinner in the fridge idea…who has time for that?!
PS How do you do that crossing out thing on your writing? I want to know!! xxx
Sexy little wrap, I like the look of this one, though my ass isn’t my problem, I’m getting the middle ages chef gut.
I can hardly plan a couple of menus on a regular week. Casserole ready when I come back from vacation PLEASE… never going to happen. Well enjoy your laundry ;~)
Twirly bird? I love it! We call them rotary chickens. One usually migrates to our house a couple times a month. But I don’t get nearly as creative with the fixins.
This sounds great for a work-from-home lunch! Hope you had a great vacation.
I love me a rotisserie chicken. For one, I didn’t have to cook it, and for another, you can just do so much with it.
“The Condiment Whore”. I may have to use that the next time someone comments on how many bottles of dressings and vinegars and mustards and oils I have in my pantry. :)
This is why I heart you. Not only do you make me feel hungry (and incompetent in the kitchen), but you have 167 reasons for being a goddess. And no doubt, more.
:)
Cooking before a trip??? Whaaaa . . . ?? I’ve never heard of such a thing. And I don’t think I have any friends who do that either. I think you just made that person up. Does she exist anywhere in the universe? Or is she just a figment of our imagination/projection of our consciences designed to make us feel we don’t measure up?
A figment, say I!
*tucks her hairy tail in* I most certainly do not have a hairy tail, where would you get that idea!? :)
Now, my laundry room on the other hand is……a mess. I do cook before trips though. However, I usually find that I don’t EAT what I cook after trips. I usually will opt for the really foul fast food, and we eat what I cook way later on, days later in some cases.
See, you make it sound easy, and I want to resent you for that, but I can’t. :) I buy those pre-cooked chickens too, but I just cut them up and plop them on plates. Usually with instant mashed potatoes and a frozen veggie. Hmmm.
EXACTLY what I was thinking!
Well I can’t remember ever having even THOUGHT about cooking a healthy meal to have around upon return from a family vacation. No family vacations lately either, except for the occassional soiree to your blog which is better than Calgon!
Yay for dead chickens! And well stocked pantries….someday can you tell us what you ALWAYS keep in your pantry?
I totally make it a point to have the fridge in vacation mode before we leave — the emptier, the better.
All hail the rotisserie chicken! I’m going to have to remember this handy shortcut for emergencies :)
Oh, you could convince me of anything!
I don’t make anything in advance, either, but I so like watching people who do. It gives me hope. It makes me thing that maybe, one day, I’ll do that. And meanwhile, I can live vicariously through their warm kitchens and twinkling candlelight.
(Actually, I did sort of make something ahead. I made spaghetti for my kids, then gave them what we were having instead, thinking the spaghetti would be good for the next night. But I have this man who lives with me? He screwed it up. Threw out a completely good pot of spaghetti, cheese and sauce mixed in. So that’s what you get for planning ahead.)
For a second there, reading those first few sentences, I was really pissed at you.
Hope the vacation was worth the pain of returning.
Dude, it takes a long time to thaw a frozen lasagna. And vows and alarm clocks aside, we NEVER get home from a long trip before 8:30 p.m. I’m more likely to make a couple of big meals before vacation, forgetting that we’re going, package them up to take to work for lunch, and find them peering resentfully at me when we show back up a week later.
BUT.
I dream of an immaculate laundry room.
“Reserve dark meat for another use.” Like the garbage disposal, right?
Who are these mythical creatures who have the wherewithal to make food prior to leaving on a trip?
This is when having access to a decent grocery delivery service is kind of awesome, because for me, the buzzkill is having to schlep groceries up the hill that is Amsterdam Avenue…not fun.
I am on obsessive house cleaner before I go on Vacation. It has to be spotless before I leave. I am dusting as I walk out the door. Rotisserie chicken is the greatest invention
Yumm!
We just got back from vacation and I wish I was organized and popped something in the freezer…….it was baked beans instead
My husband is alway saying we should make lettuce wraps. Yet we have never done it. Maybe now that I have a delicious recipe to try.
And yes, I also clean out the fridge. It’s a sad, sad site when I come home again.
“Dinner voodoo magic”–I’m needing some of that stuff these days.
You have put into words what I have often felt!Except I would have just opened a bag of pitas and bought a big chunk of feta and some tomatoes. You got pretty fancy here and the Asian condiments made it delectable, I think!
I am one of those women. The one who needs everything clean before vacation. I hate coming home to slime and the smells of stale dated items. Luckily, I have a husband who feels the same way and pitches in before we leave for vacation.
Hey, as a fellow Condiment Whore (and proud to be one!), I can actually easily whip this up as long as I remember that chicken from the store, so thanks for this great entry. I love the set-up of your recipes. Always a good story, always a good laugh. But one thing I don’t like though is that you always leave me HUNGRY!!!
Yummage. I so dig that you are posting recipes that give permission to use easy rotisserie chicken, but…. use fab ingredients to make something sooooo good. You can work some food accessory magic, though, my friend ….. I cannot throw it together like you can (and never will be able to do so). Again, I do need ass-friendly recipes (not post-vacation angst, but… still post-holiday).
Standing ovation for you! Hilarious! Mom and dad travel a lot and we (my sister and I) have been in the habit of having a warm meal in the oven for them upon their return. We pick them up, drop them off – and they are all cozy and welcome with a nourishing homemade dinner. Aren’t we good daughters? It was her idea, but I did chip in as it was such an easy and smart thing to do for them. So, now that we travel a lot, when we come home, mom does the same thing. Bless her heart. She is 80. She still loves to cook and is REALLY good at it. I know I am spoiled. I am like you. The fridge gets a major clean before I leave and it all goes to my mom’s or my daughter’s. And, though there are just two of us these days, the laundry is still daunting and stinky. I am still standing and clapping for you. To make a homemade nutritious delicious meal in the midst of coming home chaos is incredible.
:)
Valerie
My mister is such a condiment whore! I like your terminology. This sounds like a great on the fly dinner!
I don’t make meals for my return from a trip but somehow I become a purger of my refrigerator and pantry prior to going on a trip. I stop buying groceries, and try with a little Voodoo food magic to pull something out of my a** with whatever is still available. It’s a sad situation here at my house.
We love us some rotisserie chicken in this house. My kids treat a trip to the rarer and rarer Boston Market as some sort of holiday treat (yes I am embarrassed). If you walk into Costco and you see the chicken for less than $5 it’s almost like a crime to NOT get it…
While these look quite delicious for any day, I suggest a good “culinary” career would be for some enterprising person to offer a “welcome home from vacation/fill your refrigerator with already prepared and/or easy to prepare food” waiting for you while you’re waiting for the suitcases (who are continuing on vacation) to arrive.
Best,
Bonnie
I’ve never cooked before a trip in my life. But please don’t hate me when I say – That’s Genius!! I don’t know if I would ever have it together enough to actually get this done, but I love the idea.
Also, I love all lettuce wraps, so thanks for the recipe. In the continued vein of SMAM, I made a reasonable facsimile of PF Chang’s Spicy Chicken Noodle Soup last night and it was delicious. Let me know if you want me to send the recipe your way.
Hope the post-vacation doldrums have run their course by now.
Love the spicy viniagrette! My daughter will love this too.
Thanks for the virtual hugs yesterday! :D
Oh honey, you can’t beat a deli chicken. The greatest fall back of all time! I don’t cook before OR after a trip! So there.
I am pathetic. I won’t come home with dirty laundry on a vacation trip. However, the fridge is often left as-s and I do a massive purge upon return. Why do I never learn?
I heart rotisserie chicken. I can do half a dozen meals with it. And I’m totally going to try this one. Yum!
Pshaw. . . you’re just saying all that crap about your fridge to make me feel better.
Thanks!
You are SOOOOO wickedly funny.
Another one of those posts that i swear I’m gonna make, I wanna make, but probably won’t. (see my current blog post…I sorta mention you…hope it’s okay)
That spicy vinaigrette sounds delicious… I bet it would be really good on many other things too!
I am seriously going to the store to get the ingredients for this right now. I can’t wait to try it. Thanks for the inspiration.
Lots of yummy love,
Alex
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