Cauliflower and I have a checkered past. Growing up in a household with a German father, I bore witness to all sorts of culinary horrors. There were the slices of raw potato and turnip, salted to death, which he snacked on while watching hockey on the telly. There were heads of cabbage, lurking in the crisper, waiting to be pickled or transformed into coleslaw. There were flesh-colored tubes of Braunsweiger, reeking of garlic, begging to be spread on crackers. Big plastic shells of Oscar Meyer Bologna beckoned; Daddy-o would plunder them before bedtime, rolling the slices and popping them into his mouth with unabashed delight.
I’ll never forget one weekend, when a playmate and I, immersed in a game of Misty of Chincoteague, galloped into our kitchen just as Daddy was whipping up his favorite little afternoon refresher: a tall glass of sauerkraut juice mixed with V-8.
“Gaarrggg,” was all the friend could say, eyes a-buggin’. I wanted the floor to crack open and swallow me then and there.
None of these gastronomic offenses, however, was worse than The Boiling of the Cauliflower.
Daddy-o loved cauliflower, and even though nobody else in the house would touch the stuff, Mama made it for him regularly. That brown-eyed rascal had wiles, I’m telling you.
I’d fling open the door after school, eagerly awaiting freshly buttered popcorn or a warm cookie, and be assaulted by a sudden, sulfurous reek. I’d stop dead in my saddle shoes, book bag hanging off my shoulder, and feel the heavy hand of doom.
It was Cauliflower Night.
Daddy’d slather a big plateful of it with butter, add a generous dusting of pepper and salt, and dig in with relish. I’d nibble at my pork chop and salad, but out of the corner of my eye, I’d watch the cauliflower with suspicion, lest an errant floweret suddenly levitate and land on my plate. Cauliflower is a devious vegetable.
As I age and emotions mellow, I’ve tried to make up with cauliflower. Cauliflower didn’t deliberately set out to hurt my feelings, right? I’m trying, in my adult years, to be a more forgiving soul. So when Mama and Daddy agreed to come for a leisurely Sunday dinner this past weekend, I thought of this recipe and decided, “Why not?”
I prepped the cauliflower, plopped it into a whirling jacuzzi of water and broth, and stirred, watching the girls fling frisbees and fence with sticks in the afternoon sun.
Five minutes later, Miss M. came thundering in for a glass of lemonade and immediately recoiled, nose crumpled in horrified disbelief.
“Garrggg!” she howled. “What is that stink?”
Ah, little bug. Someday, I hope you’ll forgive me.
Potato and Cauliflower Puree
~ adapted from Cooking Light magazine
serves 4 (can be doubled)
2 cups cauliflower florets, chopped
1 cup Yukon gold potato, peeled and chopped
1 cup water
2 cups chicken broth
1/2 teaspoon kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon garlic salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper
1/8 teaspoon crushed red pepper (optional)
1 1/2 tablespoons butter
1/4 cup shredded, sharp, low-fat cheddar cheese, such as Cracker Barrel or Cabot brand*
2 tablespoons chopped fresh chives or flat-leaf parsley
Bring cauliflower, potato, water and broth to a boil in a large saucepan. Cover and reduce heat to a simmer. Cook 6-10 minutes or until potato can be pierced easily with a knife (at high altitude, it took me about 15 minutes).
Pour off and reserve about 1 1/3 cups liquid.
Pour remaining cauliflower mixture into a blender or food processor**. Add butter, salt, pepper, red pepper (if using) and garlic salt. If you are using a blender, take the plastic plug off the top of the blender, put cover back on and place a kitchen towel over the exposed hole to avoid splattering. Puree. If mixture seems too thick, add reserved water/broth by tablespoonfuls until desired texture is achieved.
Stir in cheese and parsley; taste and adjust seasonings as necessary.
*if you cannot find Cracker Barrel or Cabot reduced fat sharp cheddar, just use any regular cheddar you have on hand, or substitute Parmiggiano-Reggiano.
**Alternatively, you can use an immersion blender, which is what I did. Immersion blenders rock!
Verdict: I hate to admit it, but this was pretty dang good. I asked my husband to taste it for seasoning, not mentioning what the concoction was, and he said, “This is really good!” When I told him what it was, he was amazed. You honestly can barely detect the cauliflower. This stuff tastes like mashed potatoes. All of the cauliflower-haters in my family (over the age of nine) ate this right down.
And even though the minxes wanted no part of it, I’ll try it again. Cauliflower forgiveness is a lovely thing.
This post is linked up at The Red Dress Club as a response to this week’s prompt: Forgiveness. If you have time, come check out some of the amazing writers over there!
Also, if you have a food nemesis from the past that you’ve forgiven, feel free to share in the comments section!
{ 60 comments… read them below or add one }
You talk about forgiveness, and I just posted on guilt. :) Your wariness of cauliflower is like me and broccoli–I was always worried that a little floret would also somehow end up on my plate.
And don’t get me started on sauerkraut–both my parents LOVE the stuff, but they would only have it on New Year’s, usually at my grandmom’s house. My brother and I would make SUCH a huge, dramatic scene over how bad it made the house smell that we’d retreat to my mom’s old room and play Trivial Pursuit or something else just to minimize the odor.
I’ve forgiven neither of these vegetables…though I do like some raw cabbage in a slaw.
Have you ever roasted it? If not, it’s worth a try. Spread the florets on a sheet pan, drizzle with olive oil, salt, and pepper, and toss with your hands. Roast at 400 for 20 minutes, flipping with tongs halfway through. I promise it’s delicious. (I also have an old Gourmet recipe for a cauliflower maque choux that’s awesome if you’re interested.)
So I grew up in sort of a German/Mexican culinary influenced household. Dad is of German heritage, and we actually lived in Germany for a short time. Mom grew up in Texas and New Mexico – so I was surrounded by enchiladas, chili rellenos, (and other spicy, cheesy things) sauerbraten, bratwurst, rouladen (and other heavy nasty foods). Somehow the tex/mex side took, but the German side failed. I am willing to eat schnitzel – but that is about it. The bratwurst loving Minnesotans really don’t understand me at all. Of course that might be for more than just my dislike of bratwurst…(Oh – but I do like cauliflower)
Ha!! That’s how I feel about cabbage. My dad would go through diet phases and for a few solid months, he went through a cabbage diet. He’d eat it at all times of the day. I was maybe 10 or so when this happened.
At the ripe age of 29, I have finally allowed cabbage to be cooked in my house. And…it was pretty good.
Someday I might be able to talk about my dad’s Spam phase…but not yet…
The only way I’ve ever been able to eat cauliflower has been raw with ranch dressing. For me, the odor of cooked cauliflower is almost as bad as canned tuna fish.
My ultimate food nemisis that I will NEVER forgive… lima beans. Blech!
This is awesome. You write so vividly that I can smell it! Favorite lines: “Cauliflower is a devious vegetable” and “plopped it into a whirling jacuzzi of water and broth.” The former is just awesomely funny and the latter is so descriptive.
FYI, there’s a South Beach Diet recipe that involves using cauliflower (frozen) to make faux mashed potatoes. Incredibly easy, and honestly, just about as good as real potatoes. Without all the trouble. Google it. You can deviate from the recipe and add chives and bacon bits and all kinds of non-SBD-approved goodies.
I used to hate zuchini but now they are a staple ingredient of many dishes (especially in my ‘smugglers lasagna’ = a lasagna with a tomatosauce brimming with fresh veggies, hence the smuggling, *insert gleefull laughter of the mother who fools her child* and the bechamel sauce is replaced by grated parmesan).
Try baking cauliflower. You might like it.
I have to say it looks and sounds good and if you say it tastes ace then I think my initial instincts were right! It is a pity it isn’t the nicest smell that is all…. I like it with curry power baked…v nice! xxx
I tried to make cauliflower like mashed potatoes one time, and it was a disaster–they were way too watery. Yours look thick and creamy, just as they should be.
However, I do love roasted cauliflower with garlic, some Parmesan, and a little lemon juice. I can almost guarantee that roasting cauliflower will enable you to make further inroads on this journey of forgiveness.
Alas, another way in which we are different. I adore cauliflower, but I have to admit — it was an acquired taste. Roasted, steamed, raw or mashed – a definite favorite. My family, though? Not so much. So thanks for the cauliflower-in-disguise recipe to trick them with! Score!
This looks so good to me., and a good way to get everyone to eat it…mixed with mashed potatoes!! :)
If it only didn’t smell so bad while cooking. My daughter has always liked cauliflower (I know she’d wierd, she like brussels sprouts too) and we actually just had some with last nights dinner, I asked how she wanted it fixed. She likes it oven roasted with olive oil, lemon and garlic, she chose steamed. She even likes it raw. I’ve made a dip blending steamed cauliflower and a good ranch dressing, served with Tostitos scoops. The kids didn’t know because they weren’t there when it was cooking. :D
Your dad’s eating habits remind me somewhat of my fathers! I like cauliflower, but I’m sure not nearly as much as your dad!
Kitch, I’m a world class grudge holder so I applaud your attempt at forgiveness with the cauliflower. Me, I’m a fan. Roasted, mashed, raw, it’s all good. I have a head in the fridge that is due to be roasted. Maybe tonight.
I actually love cauliflower. Especially aloo gobi. You should try it. ;)
I love where you took this. What a creative and unique response to the prompt! My favorite line? “None of these gastronomic offenses, however, was worse than The Boiling of the Cauliflower.” Isn’t that the truth? In my house, it was the boiling of cabbage, but same difference. I’m so glad you came ’round to forgiving the maloderous brassica. You wrote about it beautifully. I was as revulsed as you and then, reading your recipe, came round to forgive the ivory offender myself.
First – YAY! So excited you linked up with us, you kitchen minx, you!
Second, you always make me smile. The image of you at the door with your bag and your saddleshoes, and playing Misty of Chincoteague (I haven’t thought of that book in years!) were just so spot-on.
And you really are a good daughter to make that for your parents. I don’t mind cauliflower, but that South Beach recipe where it’s supposed to make you think it’s mashed potatoes? Uh. No. It still tastes like cauliflower!
Me I am still trying to work things out with my old enemy yeast, we are doing OK now that we are in therapy. From youth there were quite a few things that I didn’t get along with, probably the biggest leap was the dreaded Brussels Sprout.
Considering I adore cauliflower, this post confused me. Have you tried it raw? It has virtually no smell when raw, though I can’t imagine what about the smell when cooked could be so offensive. Strange, the things we learn, the things other people are grossed out by. I’m glad you liked your puree, cauliflower is awesome!
What a fun and lighthearted post. It sort of reminded me of that book Like Water for Chocolate. Great job!
I’m a horrifyingly picky eater, about 5 seconds from divided plates on a good day. I despise cauliflower. I will be trying this though, because I’m trying to overcome my eating disorder. Which I guess, these days, being a selective eater is considered. LOL
Looks very tasty. I like cauliflower but have only had it with a little salt,pepper and butter. I forgave tomatoes. I did not like them as a child and no matter how many times I remind the waitress in a restaurant not to add them to my hamburger they always managed to slip one in on me. Sometimes I would trust them and forget to check and my young trust was crushed under the juice of a tomato that bled tomato juice all over my hamburger. I still am not a fan of raw tomatoes but have realized its not the tomatoes fault if some dumb ass adds them to my hamburger or sandwich when I have asked them not to.
What a fun, creative take on the prompt! I love all of the memories and details interwoven with the nitty gritty food talk.
Lines like this: “and feel the heavy hand of doom” are just genius.
And yes. I am quite sure that cauliflower didn’t hurt your feelings on purpose! :)
This recipe looks heavenly. I’m a cauliflower fan, especially when simply roasted or in curries. But the puree may be perfect for a night when I feel particularly indulgent. Now that there’s an extra set of hands in my house (mom), someone else can wash the darn food processor/blender :)
I don’t really mind cauliflower, but no one else in my family likes it. I’ve served it mashed before, but I didn’t doctor it up this much. I’ll have to try this method and see how it goes over.
Oh man. The fact that you are forgiving a vegetable rocks my world. I, too, have suspiciously eyed the cauliflower as a child. Why oh why would anyone want to eat cold pickled cauliflowers as a snack? And boiled cabbage?? Help me.
I love that you clearly love your dad but have this negative association with him. But rather than forgive him, you forgive the food. Awesome.
Came from TRDC.
I once tried mashing cauliflower…like potatoes. It was horrible, but my family didn’t say a word. To this day they won’t let me forget my culinary faux pas. Honestly, I don’t particularly like it cooked. Just serve it up raw with some ranch dressing.
“tall glass of sauerkraut juice mixed with V-8”
Daddy-o DUDE! DUUUUUDE!!!!!! It’s the crack, right? Makes you do whacked out shit? In college, we called your, um, concoction a SUICIDE MISSION! And we only did them on a *triple* dog dare. And when I got nailed with the dare, I added bacon bits from the salad bar to tolerate the mouth misery. YOU HAD NO BACON in yours! DUDE!
May I recommend valium with a nice vitamin-fortified milkshake next time so you get all your minerals, vitamins, and neurotransmitters in for the daily requirement!?
jc: a bacon addition is genius. You need to perfect the recipe.
I too don’t mind cauliflower but had a similar feeling about broccoli which my father insisted on putting in with anchovies and parm for pasta so these lines literally made me laugh, “I’d nibble at my pork chop and salad, but out of the corner of my eye, I’d watch the cauliflower with suspicion, lest an errant floweret suddenly levitate and land on my plate.”
I thought that it was a lovely full circle to end the story with beginning the cauliflower introductions with your own daughter.
Good luck with that!
It looks great to me, but if you can’t taste the cauliflower, is your *dad* going to like it?
GEW: Yes, he liked it. Because his German soul is also deeply fond of the potato. :)
It is all about the seasoning to make cauliflower taste good. I take this recipe and add capers to the breadcrumb mixture. The flavor of crab cakes! Only so much cheaper, and it counts toward the daily vegetable quota.
Sweetie, you know I love ya but… I can not, will not EVER make up with cauliflower! I’ve made up with my share of veggies over the years. Hell, I’ll actually eat tomatoes on my BLT’s now. Yes, I’m that weird. But cauliflower and I have a very ugly history that I simply cannot forgive.
I love cauliflower. Actually I like it mashed as a substitute for potatoes or raw with dip. Yum! (Javi says “Mama, I love this albino broccoli!)
Albino broccoli? Hilarious! I just love that Javi.
I’m a skeptic. I heard of recipes like this before . . . but still. But if you say it’s good, I’ll try it.
I hate squashes and fried okra. God, I hate fried okra.
Fae,
Okra is evil. Any way you prepare it, it’s slimy, green evil.
Wow! you just did a whole post on cauliflower, and it was good! :) I could almost smell your mom’s kitchen. Have you ever had aloo gobi (East Indian)? Cauliflower and potatoes with spice. Yummy.
Julie,
I have eaten aloo gobi, and I must say, Indian people know their way around a vegetable, don’t you think?
ahhhhh my dad is German and looooves the nasty food too! too funny. too too funny. but I have to say, that puree looks yummy!
I have two words for you: cheese sauce. You can forgive just about anything with enough cheese sauce.
I used to hate cauliflower (and that boiling cauliflower smell) as much as you, but now for some reason I love it… which is great since it’s so good for you. I took it as a sign of aging…
HA! I almost spit out my coffee. I actually love cauliflower, but I don’t think I ever had any traumatic childhood experiences associated with it. Potato is a great mixer…definitely mellows it out. I love to read your writing. In case I hadn’t told you that enough in the past. ;D
My Mom baked fish one night when I was a kid and I made the mistake of looking inside the oven and saw the fish, complete with head and eyes still on, and I swore off fish forever. Literally – even shrimp makes me gag.
Ok, I’ll admit, at first I was thinking, “You grew up in one stinky house!” But then the way you described your dad eating the cauliflower with butter, salt, and relish, well, I am actually thinking that’d be good. But really, that potato and cauliflower puree would be delicious! If I wasn’t so afraid of the smell in my house afterwards, I’d so be going out to get the ingredients! :)
Great post TKW! You are a pleasure to read and your writing is brilliant!
Cauliflower made the lebanese way is so good when I make it my daughter devours it before I have a chance to finish it off; you made me smile with your recollections of the eating habits of you dad! love your posts!
I ignored cauliflower for years. Lately I’ve fixed it several times and really enjoyed it. We even like it sliced and roasted for a snack. This recipe sounds like one we’d love.
The downside of liking cauliflower: they were $4.99 a head at the supermarket this week. (sigh)
You and I have very similar food memories…my Dad used to eat all of those things!!
I actually think that sounds delicious. And I LOVE how you incorporated this meme.
I will have to think about the bloggy crush I have on you.
I have long long been faithful to cauliflower.
In all its forms.
Just… I need a moment…
It’s okay. Mutual bloggy crush going on :)
South Beach Diet has a cauliflower puree that you’re supposed to use in place of mashed potatoes. I always thought it was excellent. Of course, it could only be improved with cheese and potatoes. Hmmmm.
But then, I’ve always loved cauliflower. Any way.
Yum, I love cauliflower and am so glad you found your way to forgiving it! I used to crinkle my nose at bananas, but one day I just decided I had to get over it and set to work eating a banana a day until I learned to like them. Now I can’t get enough! (Still haven’t managed to forgive Swiss cheese, though — blech!)
Meister:
I’ve always hated bananas and nobody has ever understood that. It’s a texture issue, right? My daughters share my phobia because they will only eat them just a little South of green.
I hate bananas, too. The smell, the texture, the oozy black stuff…((shudder))
But the cauliflower? I can handle that.
It was really hard to do, but after being maliciously attacked again by the Kitch, I had to wait to see what all the comments would be, and voila! I never realized how many “soul mates” I had among you bloggers! What a highly intellectual, cuisine loving bunch to like many of the healthful, tasty German root vegetables and delicacies! But the Kitch needs to refine a couple of things. My Dad got me started on tomato juice with sauerkraut juice added in. I grew into the cocktail referred to by Kitch, but it was not sauerkraut juice with V-8. It was V-8 (2/3 glass) with sauerkraut juice (1/3 glass). And no, you don’t need no bacon bits or anything else, it’s perfect the way it is. However, it you aren’t fully into the German thing, a wedge or splash of lemon would do nicely. And Kitch, you can’t get sauerkraut juice at Kroger, King Soopers, Safeway or Albertsons. You have to go to Whole Foods or Vitamin Cottage, so you really know how healthful and gourmet it is! And also, Kitch, they are not just balogna “roll-ups”, they are Oscar Meyer pure BEEF balogna roll-ups!
And you forgot one of the very best! The combination mashed potato and Kohlrabi blended tasty dish at Thanksgiving! But I do know where you are coming from, and the source of your real embarassment. When you live among a bunch of Swedes, Norwegians and other Scandinavians I’m sure my periodic lapses into German cuisine seemed strange. However, I always thought some of those Scandinavian dishes were strange, too.
But as I age I get tremendous enjoyment in pointing out how Bottom Line Health keeps pointing out how healthful sauerkraut, cabbage and root vegetables are, and how they help prevent all kinds of ailments. With the extreme longevity in my family’s background I just really hope they are right!
Daddy-o, you are gonna outlive us all, I swear. How helpful of you to provide the exact ratio of V8/sauerkraut juice in your little stink cocktail. I have a wonderful mental image of my readers storming Whole Paycheck, voraciously searching for sauerkraut juice.
And Dude, when did you learn the word Kohlrabi? I don’t even know what that dang thing is.
You are right; Germans don’t own the sole rights to nasty food. Those Scandinavians ate head cheese, man. That’s just wrong.
Love you, rascal. xo
Oh my Gosh, this had me rolling in laughter!! Way to go Kitch’s dad.
Clearly, I was wrong up the bacon bits. I can see how they would get jammed in the track up your arm Daddy-o! *facepalm* lemon. good grief. Do you squeeze the lemon ON your arm or add it to the liquid monstrosity?
You are now admitting to ruining perfectly awesome mashed potatoes with some cabbage crap I had to google. Witch was definitely hatched on a rock.
Oh I CANNOT wait to try it. I LOVE pureed cauliflower, and I actually think my youngest would love this.
P.S. I have to admit, I really like Jessica Seinfeld’s Mac & Cheese reciped that uses pureed cauliflower. Go ahead, throw a tomato at me.