Profanity, School, and Salad: A Re-cap

August 20, 2012

~calm before the storm


With the arrival of school–and the frantic routine that accompanies it–I really haven’t had a chance to sit down and gather my thoughts.  Thus, you’ll be treated to a hodgepodge of odds and ends and in-betweens. I apologize. Our household is in Freakshow Circus mode. So, welcome to the show! Come on in! A few offerings from the past week:

~It is evident that when it comes to the Freakshow Circus, I am the ringmaster. Freak numero uno. Alpha Freak. Seriously, just ask my husband, who kindly took last Thursday off so that I wouldn’t be home alone on Miss M.’s first full day out of the house. He immediately regretted his decision, because last Thursday, I was annoying as shit. All day long.

  • As the bus pulled away, I burst into tears. I was the only person who did this. All of the other mommies looked like they’d just had 2 martinis and shagged Ryan Gosling. But not me. No siree. I didn’t even have the “my kid was so sad to leave me” excuse, because Miss M. could not wait to hop on that bus and get the Hell out of Dodge.
  • I cried the entire way home and for five minutes extra, just for good measure. I blew my nose and collected myself. Then I called my mother and cried again.
  • I emptied the dishwasher, organized a few kitchen cabinets, did two loads of laundry, cleaned out the pantry, went for a 3-mile walk (and may or may not have wept a few times while doing so), showered, turned on the oven and proceeded to make homemade cookies. All before 12:30 in the afternoon.
  • My husband read two magazines, fiddled on the computer and wanted to get laid. When he tried to get his point across with the very sophisticated “grab booty and squeeze” method, I jumped a foot into the air, whirled around–oven mitt in hand–and hissed at him. “What the fuck are you doing?” I hollered.  “We’re alone, baby,” he leered. “Ack! And…Ick! How can you even think of something like that on a day like today?” I said, throwing the oven mitt at his face. “Je-sus, would you calm the heck down? You’ve been scrambling around here like that hyper squirrel-thingy in the Ice Age movies.”  He may have had a point.
  • He also got his way, but that’s because he poured me a glass of wine and forced me to sit still for 20 minutes.
  • I looked at the clock every ten minutes from 2-3:30pm. Then I remembered that I had a physical therapy appointment. I promptly had to cry again because what kind of crap mum misses afternoon bus stop duty on the first day of school? My husband reminded me that ummmm…he was there, which just made me cry harder. At least I had *guilt cookies* to leave for my abandoned children.
  • the physical therapy lady said, “Jeez, what is up with your neck? Your muscles are bunched up like rocks. Are you stressed?”  Heh, you think?

~ Under my husband’s watch, the girls devoured two dozen *guilt cookies* before I got home.

~ After the sugar high wore off, Miss M. confessed that she had cried at school. She was brave until lunchtime and then, overwhelmed by the realization that she didn’t know anyone and didn’t have anyone to sit with, she stood frozen in the middle of the cafeteria, sobbing.

~ Hearing this made me water up for the bazillionth time in one day. I think I deserve the Olympic medal for weeping. I could definitely be a competitive weeper.

~ Exhausted, I fell into bed. And couldn’t sleep. Because, you know, my little hatchling cried in the cafeteria. I couldn’t stop having flashbacks. I worried about tomorrow…would she resist going to school? Would she be traumatized? I fretted for naught. The little minx bounced onto the bus the next morning without a look back. Hmph. Was she really that bored hanging with me at home?

~ My hair is suddenly falling out. In handfuls. I am not kidding. I think my hairbrush has shell-shock. I’ve been shedding more than usual for about a month now, but now it’s downright scary. Panic-stricken, I called the dermatologist. Turns out, gargantuan amounts of hair loss is normal…for someone who underwent major surgery a few months ago.  Apparently, the long-ass recovery time your body needs after major surgery is so taxing that your hair forgets to grow for a while. And then it falls out. All at once. Awesome. My anniversary is coming up in less than a month…I may just ask for a WIG for my gift. Sexy, no?

~ Foxes left me a be-headed bunny surprise in the yard.

~ School re-cap, day two: No tears, more manic cleaning binges. No wonder this post is so scattered; I cleaned out my closets but not my head. Not that I want to clean my head in the true sense, lest more fistfuls of hair fall out.

~ A cluttered mind and frazzled nerves lead to exhaustion, so it’s crucial to make dinner early in the day. On Friday, I made this noodle salad around 3 o’clock and it was perfectly chilled when I slurped it down, ravenous, at 5:30.

~ Aforementioned noodle salad is not a looker. Whole grain pasta tossed in a dressing that contains brown soy sauce and brown peanut butter is sort of…brown.  But give this wallflower a shot, because it’s delicious. It’s also chock-full of protein and fiber, which we Nervous Nellie mamas need.

If only it could make hair grow…

Happy week of school #2. It gets easier, right? If not, at least I’ll have the cleanest house in the neighborhood.



Sesame Noodle Salad with Edamame

serves 4

For the Salad:

8 ounces whole wheat spaghetti, cooked and drained

2 cups rotisserie chicken breast, shredded

1 cup shredded carrot

1 1/2 cups frozen edamame, blanched for 3 minutes

1/2 cup chopped scallions, mint, parsley (any mix)

toasted sesame seeds

For the dressing:

1/3 cup rice vinegar

3 tablespoons soy sauce

3 tablespoons peanut butter

2 tablespoons hot pasta water

2 tablespoons canola oil

1-2 tablespoons honey

2 teaspoons (or more!) Sriracha

1/1/2 teaspoons sesame oil

1 clove garlic, minced

1 teaspoon fresh minced ginger


Cook the pasta in a large pot of boiling salted water.  While pasta cooks, start on the dressing. In a large bowl, whisk the rice vinegar and soy sauce together. Dollop the peanut butter in the middle of the bowl. Scoop out a couple of tablespoons of hot pasta water and whisk it into the bowl until you have a smooth consistency. Add remaining dressing ingredients and whisk well.

Drain cooked pasta and rinse with cold water. Add the pasta to the bowl and toss to combine. Add remaining salad ingredients and toss again.

This is best served within a few hours of making it, but it will keep longer. If the pasta soaks up all of the dressing and looks dry, drizzle it with a little soy sauce and sesame oil and then give it another toss.

ps: You know I ate this for breakfast on Saturday, right?

pps: Hope you readers are well and gearing up for school season. I hope to catch up with you when the circus stops whirling.


{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }

Jennifer August 20, 2012 at 12:28 pm

Oh poor TKW. It is hard when the baby starts school. Mine goes next year and I’m not at all looking forward to it. Unfortunately I work in an office full of men that will find my tears hilarious. That will not stop me from shedding a million.


Abby August 20, 2012 at 2:13 pm

It will get better–for all of you (minus the decapitated bunny.) New routines will form and you’ll be running around helping with homework, class parties and appointments. Your hair will grow back, and even if it doesn’t, it sounds like you could wear a paper bag and your husband would still want to shag ;)

Hang in there.


Katybeth August 20, 2012 at 2:40 pm

I think I”ll just “Like” Abby’s reply…she said it all so well and even gave a mention to the bunny.


TKW August 20, 2012 at 3:34 pm

Abby, as puffy as my eyes and entire face looked after all of that wailing and weeping, I think a bag would have been a benefit.


Mary Lee August 20, 2012 at 3:39 pm

Sent this to my daughters.

The picture is absolutely precious. Don’t get tears on it.


TKW August 20, 2012 at 7:11 pm

Mary Lee,

Even better–it was taken at the Colorado Aids Walk a few weekends ago, and a good friend from high school and her band headlined the event. Lots of dancing and festivities from all walks of life. How are you? I miss you!


Tiffany August 20, 2012 at 4:22 pm

If it makes you feel better, last year, when my baby went to Kindergarten, I cried like a baby. This year? I will be doing cartwheels back home from the bus stop.


TKW August 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm


If you feel like you’ve just shagged Gosling, will you tell me about it? I want to live vicariously through you. :)


suzicate August 20, 2012 at 5:13 pm

What is it with these kids that aren’t sad to leave Mama? Mine did the same thing-jumped on the bus without a look back! I’m crying with you because I know how lonely it feels (even with the hubby staying home to get laid!)


TKW August 20, 2012 at 7:12 pm


A hatchling who doesn’t cry for her Mama is a hard whack in the face. xoxo


The Meaning of Me August 20, 2012 at 5:26 pm

TKW, I wasn’t sure if I should cry or laugh reading this – so I did both. Honestly, my little one has been in daycare/preschool since the very beginning and there are days she practically leaps away from me. And then there are days when she hugs extra long and tight and wants to come with me. Both kinds suck. Like any good mother-daughter pair, we have days we can’t bear to be apart and days when we can’t bear to be together. On the first day I ever dropped her off and sobbed all the way out the front door, another mommy said “it does get a little easier.” It does. Wait, no it doesn’t – she lied. No, it does. Ugh, see – it’s just what we mommies do, I guess.

In the meantime, I hope the year settles in nicely for you and your crew. I’ll be giving your salad a try – Husband loves anything that even remotely reads “Asian flair food” so he’s adding this one to the “can you make that please” list. :)


TKW August 20, 2012 at 7:14 pm


If he likes things a little racy, definitely increase the amount of Sriracha. I used *ahem* two tablespoons in mine. Gee, and I wonder why I have trouble sleeping?


Heather August 20, 2012 at 7:59 pm

I think I’m shedding tears here… Not for the beginning of school. No. I’m shedding them for Miss M. and all the other lunch room criers out there. I was thrown back to the year I ate every single lunch in the bathroom. Every one. Freshman year of high school. We had just moved from the country to the city. I knew no one. Cliques were already well established and I didn’t fit into any of them. I didn’t get an orientation so I didn’t even know how to buy lunch in the cafeteria. I walked to the grocery store every lunch hour, bought a bunch of crap and proceeded to the girls bathroom to eat in peace and quiet. Every Day. For a whole year. 20+ years later I’m still trying to shed the weight I put on that year! Oh Miss M… I hope day number 2 found her eating with companions.


TKW August 21, 2012 at 5:36 am


The bathroom is a horrible place to have to eat lunch! Thank God I had a math teacher who kept his classroom open during lunch for all of the outcasts like me to hang out in. ((you))


Naptimewriting August 20, 2012 at 11:20 pm

We could *totally* be on the synchronized crying team. We would take gold, baby.

Not about first grade. I don’t think I’ll care, since it’s the older one. But in two weeks the little one starts what some people like to call preschool and I know full well is home-based daycare. Because it’s been seven years and I’m going out of my mind, yo. So I’ll cry all three hours that the little one is gone, then call an hour after I pick him up to see if they’ll re-open the “school” and take him back.


CK August 21, 2012 at 3:38 am

Yay for home-based preschool! If the team is still going strong next year, I’m coming out to join. Big K for #2? I’ll be ready to lead off the relay races.

How was day 2 for Miss M? (We’ve all been thinking about her.)


TKW August 21, 2012 at 5:42 am

She did well. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers. I did forget how exhausted they are that first month or two of first grade. It’s such a change, going from 1/2 day to full. Miss M. is toast when she gets home.


TKW August 21, 2012 at 5:37 am


That is EXACTLY what you are going to do. Letting go of that littlest one is torture. However, after hearing about his climbing escapades, I think you need the break.

*fist pump* Synchronized Crying Gold in Russia 2014!!


Jamie August 20, 2012 at 11:30 pm

Is it wrong if the most horrifying part was the hair?! Nothing is worse than an unexpected hairbrush full of hair (after one brushing, no less.) Been there. Not fun. Poor you!!


TKW August 21, 2012 at 5:39 am


I doubt this will shock you, but the hair loss is also making me cry daily. EEEEEK!


Arnebya August 21, 2012 at 5:13 am

It’ll get better (says the woman whose 2 1/2 yr old is starting pk-3 in little over a week. The woman who is so not ready for her 2 1/2 yr old to start pk-3 in little over a week and she hasn’t even been home with him). Exhale. Admittedly, I’ve taken to cleaning while crying because some part of me tells me he is going to have a rough time of it. He isn’t going to like it, dem bitches gon’ be mean. Who these figurative bitches are I haven’t quite figured out yet. Kids? Teachers? Lunch ladies? Never mind me.

So hair. Hm I guess the post-surgery fall out makes SOME sense, but…hm again. I’m wanting you to follow-up in a few weeks if it’s still happening (did you hear me rip that script off mah lil pad?).

Also, damn those’re some gorgeous girls. My goodness.


TKW August 21, 2012 at 5:40 am


“…dem bitchen gon’ be mean” make me cackle out loud! Maybe they’re all just gonna love on that little man.

I’ll keep you updated on the hair.


Kate August 21, 2012 at 7:11 am

Random suits my mind. (scattered here too)

– Poor hairbrush. And you of course. But, at least the hair isn’t any deterrent to your husband.

– My baby’s first day of K she lost her lunchbox (well, her teacher did) and she couldn’t eat the lunch line lunch (wno can eat chicken nuggets without ketchup and without teeth a whole apple is cruelty) so she was a tired, hungry mess of tears at pick up. My heart broke wide.

– I’m two weeks out from preK start and I’m terrified. Last year, she had a mean teacher (we left). But I need sleep. Anxiety isn’t helping.

– Once your house is clean do you want to help out over here?

Here’s to better days.


TKW August 21, 2012 at 9:46 am


A mean kindergarten teacher? That’s just WRONG. I hope for nothing but sunshine this time around.


grace August 21, 2012 at 8:46 am

what does it say about me that the item on your list that stuck with me most was the headless bunny? i’m sorry things aren’t peachy keen right now–stay strong!


TKW August 21, 2012 at 9:47 am


The headless bunnies are definitely horrifying. Sort of like a cherry on top of a bad sundae.


Jenna August 21, 2012 at 9:39 am

Your comment about the moms who looked like they’d just shagged Mr. Gosling made me laugh. =) Even in your competitive weeping mode, you still have that magical sense of humor!


Robin August 21, 2012 at 2:22 pm

When my youngest went off to kindergarten the first day, I got into my car and followed the bus to the school, crying the whole way there. It gets better.

Poor bunny…


Sherri August 21, 2012 at 3:22 pm

Worst of it behind you? Maybe? I know your Miss M will make friends very soon. The first week is weird. And…. I think protein will make your hair grow, right? Maybe the worst of that is behind you too. Best of luck this week. I send my first and second graders on Thursday. I’m already feeling a little sentimental and lonely, and they’re next to me now hitting eachother with pillows. Yikes. I may join you with tears and such very soon. Anyway… does get better. That much I know. Everyday an adventure, right?


TKW August 22, 2012 at 6:35 am


You will miss them terribly…until they get home from school the first day. Then they’ll drive you nuts within 5 minutes of arrival. :)


Tandy August 22, 2012 at 2:15 am

despite the tears you had which are not a laughing matter, I really had a good chuckle at your hubby – booty calls for men are a NOW IS THE TIME sort of thing, regardless of what is happening around them ;)


TKW August 22, 2012 at 6:35 am


I know! Men are the weirdest creatures…


Jane August 22, 2012 at 5:33 am

My boys are so close in age and I was so frazzled by the time #1son was ready for kindergarten, I put #2son in the pre-school program at the same time. So, they both left the nest and I treasured the peace and quiet. I know. I’m a horrible mom.

And now, I’m making up for lost time. We had so much fun this summer. SO much fun. Laughs. Swims. Hikes. Giggles. Projects. Silliness. I cried like a baby on their first day. And their second. Sniffles on their third. Now, I just wander around the house like a lost lamb.


TKW August 22, 2012 at 6:36 am

You are not a horrible mother! I’m so glad you made it a magical summer for everyone!


Lyndsey@TinySkillet August 23, 2012 at 7:41 am

So funny all the scattered thoughts and a salad thrown in! A good salad though, but now I’m tired after reading this I think I need to go rest! :)


Biz August 23, 2012 at 9:42 am

Ah, this brought back memories of when Hannah went to Kindergarten. We’d be a block away from school and I’d look down and see her chin quiver. Tears would then slide down her cheeks as she hugged me hard and walked into class. I was brave for her until I was a block away from school, my chin quivering and tears streaming down my cheeks.

It wasn’t until a few weeks later, a note came home in Hannah’s back pack that said “Hannah now stops crying by the time she hangs up her coat.”

Tomorrow she starts her junior year of college and its the first time I won’t be there for a first day of school picture – I’ll probably shed a tear tomorrow too – they grow up so damn fast.


BigLittleWolf August 23, 2012 at 11:35 am

Holy Crap! (And I thought I was having a rough week.)

Chocolate. Copious amounts of chocolate.


Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri August 23, 2012 at 12:45 pm

Sending hugs. I just went through this with my daughter. But have no chocolate cookies or noodle salad to show for it

. It was a day of ambling between happiness and sadness.


TKW August 24, 2012 at 6:23 am


I think mamas are fully allowed to amble on first days of school. Or first weeks.


Velva August 23, 2012 at 5:13 pm

God, I feel guilty…I was ‘woot, wooing it” thinking my youngest in high school. The high school bus comes at 6:32 a.m.. Too damn early! This morning as I was hanging over the toaster with my eyeballs sealed in my head…I thought enough high school love ( 3days into high school)…”Dude, you are on your own in the morning, and went back to bed”.

Does it matter if I tell you, it all works out?



TKW August 24, 2012 at 6:24 am


That’s an ungodly time for the bus to come! I’d be back in bed too! Had to laugh at the image of you standing over the toaster…


Stacia August 23, 2012 at 11:07 pm

My oldest starts kindergarten on Monday. Will you please come over and clean my closets and make me cookies??


TKW August 24, 2012 at 6:26 am


My energy crashed and burned after several days. Now I’m numb and kind of worthless. Best of luck to you and your kindergartner on Monday!


rebecca @ altared spaces August 24, 2012 at 10:15 am

Just got back from settling my girl into her college dorm. No bus stop. Rather an 18 hour drive with tissues.

Get ready girl.

The closets at the hotels are already pretty clean.


deirdre September 1, 2012 at 1:52 pm

I so appreciate your candor (and recipe- yum!)
Thank you so much for linking up with Photo Friday on Ladies Holiday! Hope to see you next week!


Annie September 5, 2012 at 6:48 pm

Oh dear, I’ll join you in the weepers club. And I certainly know who I’ll turn to when Andrew starts kindergarten next year. I seriously cannot even think about it without breaking down. I’m sure I’ll be delightful that week.

Oh, and the daytime sex attempt – that was like reading about my own life, both his attempt and your reaction.


TKW September 6, 2012 at 12:33 am


How did I know that you would understand? Ack…these men.


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