Valentine’s Day: A Love/Hate Relationship

February 13, 2014




I’m seeing a lot of social media activity this week dissing the day of Big Love. Actually, “dissing” is a little too mild a term–some of y’all harbor deep resentment and vitriol for February 14. Whoa, Nelly.

Part of me actually understands this. Last night, I told my husband that I was absolutely sick of the vomitous jewelry commercials on the radio this time of year.

“Why do they make commercials like that?” I asked. “Nobody wins, here. They plug Valentine’s Day as a great day to get engaged, and even if marriage isn’t on a woman’s radar, just hearing that advertisement will put a little gnat in her brain that ‘Hey, he might propose on Valentine’s Day.’*  And the men feel pressured–even if they’re not thinking diamonds–to buy expensive jewelry for the occasion because…what if they don’t? Does it mean they take their woman for granted? Does he not love her enough? Is he going to disappoint her if he chooses a less extravagant gift? Is she going to end up crying in a restaurant bathroom with legions of other dejected females?”

My husband dunked his quesadilla into the guacamole. “Valentine’s Day is a totally shitty day to propose.”

“Well I know that and you know that, but what about the other poor shmucks out there?  Gaaaa, it’s a white-knuckle situation for you guys out there.”

“By the way, what do you want for Valentine’s Day?” he said.

“You know the rules,” I said.

Dana’s rules for Valentine’s Day:

1) You are forbidden to buy the criminally overpriced roses.

2) Do not take me out to dinner because restaurants are slammed and you are guaranteed shitty service and an even shittier meal.

3) No baubles. I don’t need them.

4) No chocolates. My ass doesn’t need them.

5) Do not assume you’ll get laid.


Those are my rules.

My poor husband.

I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking that I’m one of those foaming-at-the-mouth psycho bitch women who makes up rules like this because I insist that my man sit down and think about our relationship at length and recall what’s been meaningful in our past and give a gift that reflects this reflection.

But I’m not that chick.  I know a handful of chicks who are like that (god help their husbands and boyfriends), but I’m not one of them.

The reason I have rules is because I don’t want my mister to get royally ripped off. It’s just not right to take advantage of a guy like that.

However, my stupid rules have now rendered me completely impossible to shop for on Valentine’s Day.

Sorry about that, honey.

My husband is dead easy on Valentine’s Day. He wants chocolate.

Well, actually what he wants is a steak and a blow job but I don’t work on Valentine’s Day.

So chocolate it is.

This year, I cheated him a little bit because I made something with white chocolate, which isn’t really chocolate at all.

It is, however, delicious.

It’s also super easy and very impressive-looking, especially if you gussy it up with a few berries.

Whether you love it or loathe it, Valentine’s Day only lasts 24 hours, so take heart. And eat some chocolate.

*What say you, readers? Valentines Day–a yea or a nay?



White Chocolate Pots du Crème

makes 4

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1/2 cup whole milk

4 tablespoons sugar

pinch salt

1 teaspoon vanilla

2 eggs

2 egg yolks

1 oz. white chocolate, melted

1/2 oz white chocolate, shaved

fresh berries mixed with a little sugar

whipped cream, if desired


Place cream and milk in a small saucepan and turn the heat to medium. Cook just until it begins to steam.

With a mixer, beat the eggs and yolks until pale yellow and thick. Add the vanilla.

Very slowly and gradually whisk the hot cream mixture into the egg mixture.

Pour the mixture into 4 small custard cups. Place the cups in a roasting pan and pour  hot water in, to within about an inch of the cups. Bake at 300 for about 30-40 minutes (the mixture should be quite set and wobble just a little bit).

Top with the chocolate shavings, fresh berries and cream, if desired.

{ 30 comments… read them below or add one }

Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes February 13, 2014 at 10:59 am

Nay. But mainly because we got married on February 24th and met on the 21th of March, so we prefer to do something ‘big’ (like eat a REALLY good Michelin star restaurant for instance) to celebrate both occasions. Adding Valentine’s day would be overkill.


Dana Talusani February 13, 2014 at 5:16 pm


I think that’s way more romantic anyways!


Rudri Bhatt Patel @ Being Rudri February 13, 2014 at 11:47 am

Kitch, love this post. So true. I read your list to my hubby and we both got a chuckle out of it. Thanks for making our day. xoxo


Katybeth February 13, 2014 at 12:15 pm

Yum that looks so good. White Chocolate Pots du Crème Day should be on Valentine’s day. Maybe I will make it happen.
I am not a huge fan of February but it’s not Valentines day fault. I am guessing what most women would really like for VD is unasked for time. Take out the puppy on your own innovative, figure out the take out menu and order the food, be the bad guy over bedtime.
I’m not big on whiners on VD either. For heavens sake grow up, buy yourself a rose and take yourself for a mani/pedi and get over it. We don’t have to be invited to every single party. Did I just rant? Sorry.


Dana Talusani February 13, 2014 at 5:18 pm


Rant away! I completely agree. And yes, the gift of time is something we need but never ask for, and it would be a wonderful gift.


Jamie February 13, 2014 at 5:59 pm

I can’t handle the V-day hate either. My all time favorite person to split a bottle of wine with is MYSELF, so I’ve got no sympathy for people who can’t hang as a singleton.


Mr TKW February 13, 2014 at 12:17 pm

I actually like the rules. It takes the pressure off. How about binge watching Season 2 of House of Cards for Valentine’s Day?


Dana Talusani February 13, 2014 at 5:20 pm


I don’t know…you’ve been working so much that we have so many things to catch up on! True Detective? Archer? Brooklyn 911? The Following (kidding!!!)

But a binge on House of Cards is better for my ass than a binge on chocolate. I say yes.


Lisa @ The Meaning of Me February 13, 2014 at 1:56 pm

This was a great post – had to read it to the Fab Hub. We both got a chuckle.
I say nay to proposing on Valentine’s Day because, really, what is original and special about that? Your rules sound pretty much like mine but, like you said, the poor guy has no idea what to do. If he does a load of laundry today, I’d be pretty happy. We’re snowed in here (again) so I’m pretty sure that will be the extent of our celebration. I don’t know – we don’t generally get too excited about it.


Dana Talusani February 13, 2014 at 5:28 pm


Sorry you are snowed in! Maybe do a carpet picnic? I like to do that when it’s shitty outside–put a blanket down, have cheese, bread, hummus, olives or the like, a bottle of wine and sit down criss-cross applesauce. Hey, we have to improvise sometimes!

I love it when men do laundry.


Erica February 13, 2014 at 2:56 pm

We used to exchange goofy cards and cook a big meal at home. Then one year the kids’ activities got in the way and we ended up with Chik-fil-A drive-thru. That has become our tradition. This year it will be goofy cards, Chik-fil-A, and House of Cards.


Dana Talusani February 13, 2014 at 5:31 pm


Another House of Cards addict! Woot! I love that show; Robin Wright is such a bitch that I can’t resist her.

And hey, the way you describe it, Chick-fil-A sounds like good fun.


Velva February 13, 2014 at 5:44 pm

Nay. I am good for a dinner at home. Nothing more.

Btw, Happy Valentine’s Day (smile).



Jamie February 13, 2014 at 6:02 pm

I big-pink-fluffy-heart love Valentine’s day! I insist we go out to dinner with the crowds every year! Prime people watching, I can’t resist it.

Also…house of cards. I could pee with excitement. Robin Wright and Kate Mara have me girl crushin, hard core.


Alison February 13, 2014 at 6:02 pm

It’s Valentine’s Day tomorrow?
Hey, chocolate!


D. A. Wolf February 13, 2014 at 6:03 pm

This makes me chuckle. And your dessert looks delish. I love valentines… For hanging with a friend or someone I love, and enjoying a nibble.

What’s better than that?


Kel @ Quarter to 5 February 13, 2014 at 6:11 pm

I’m not a Hallmark Holiday type of girl. It just doesn’t do it for me. But I do put together a Valentine’s Day box for the kids at their respective Universities. They get a heart shaped box of chocolates, Pop Rocks, some of their favorite little treats, some goofy toys, homemade brownies and banana cakes in heart shapes, etc. Just for fun in the middle of midterms.

The Bear and I aren’t overly romantic. We do goofy cards, and I honor the real holiday which is, of course, February 15th — Half Price Chocolate Day.

But I do have pretty strong opinions on the media inundation that I wrote here, if anyone is bored:


Dana Talusani February 14, 2014 at 7:15 am


You have some lucky kids! Those goodie boxes sound amazing! Just the thing to ward off the February blahs.


Phoo-d February 13, 2014 at 7:56 pm

I enjoy V-day but only for the brightness it brings to the cold blahs of February. It is nice to have something to think about/plan for/celebrate in a month of cold and snow! A good meal at home and cards for the kids are my idea of fun. I did find some non criminally priced roses direct from the growers via an online company called thebouqs. So I ordered myself some, wrote my own card, and told Mr. B he was off the hook. =)


Dana Talusani February 14, 2014 at 7:16 am


Mr.B totally scored this year!


Cindy February 13, 2014 at 9:04 pm

You don’t work on Valentine’s Day – hahahahaha! (That made me laugh!)


Papa Guy February 13, 2014 at 10:19 pm

I’m with you, actually were both with you, but today is our 38th anniversary, and tomorrow is the V day. I think going out to a nice meal, where neither one of us has to cook or clean, for both occasions is the way to go. Then we have tickets to a nice local “live” theatre production on Sat evening, after supper. Now that’s the ticket.


Dana Talusani February 14, 2014 at 7:18 am

papa guy,

happy anniversary to you two!


elizabeth February 15, 2014 at 9:39 am

I’m pretty meh on V-Day, but I’m with you on not spending ludicrous amounts of money on flowers–Fairway has a lovely selection, thank you very much. This year was kind of weird because Michael was traveling all week and I was expecting to have a party for one, but because of some alleged impending snow he took an earlier flight home. And because of said trip, I didn’t even think to get a gift right away…so it’s not coming until next week. But it’s a pretty fan-tastic gift.


Dana Talusani February 15, 2014 at 1:36 pm


Do tell?


elizabeth February 16, 2014 at 7:09 pm

A new digital thermometer, because the one we currently have (that I bought when he was away) sucks balls. But this one is not only endorsed by Alton Brown (in a non-paid way–he just says it’s good) but by the same people who make the Therma-Pen:


Mary Lee February 15, 2014 at 9:40 am

Our Valentine’s Day rules are oh so similar! We had a Valentine “Mini-moon” last weekend at a historic hotel in Atlanta. We’d made reservations at one of the hotel’s restaurants, thinking that it wouldn’t be crowded the week before Valentine’s Day. Au contraire! We hadn’t realized it was directly across the street from where The Book of Mormon was playing. The restaurant was slammed until about 7:45, then suddenly we were the ONLY diners in the place.

My Dearly Beloved THINKS he proposed on Valentine’s Day, but he didn’t. We lived in different cities and I’d come up for a Valentine dance, but it was on the Saturday nearest the actual date. I think it was the 13th. At least it wasn’t a Friday.


Dana Talusani February 15, 2014 at 1:37 pm

Even if it had been Friday the 13th, you and DB would be awesome together!


Sherri February 17, 2014 at 11:25 am

Scary how similar our Valentine’s Day rules are ….. I am usually not a white chocolate fan but must admit, this looks delectable…. Will try it….


Tiffany February 18, 2014 at 7:39 am

I love V day…and I also love that we women all have that ace in our ole blow job.


Cancel reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: