I Am Raising a Quitter: A Confession

October 27, 2014

Dear Readers,

I’m over at the Huffington Post today, admitting some pretty tough things as a parent. It would mean the world to me if you’d click here and pop into the Huff Po to say hello, and of course, offer any insights or comments. I’m a little nervous about this one–I might be in for some harsh critics–and I’d love to see some friendly faces.

 

Much Love,

Kitch

{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }

Annie October 27, 2014 at 2:55 pm

You can’t change her nature or yours but you can both embrace doing things together that make you feel braver. Giving her the confidence that comes from being secure in your love and support and having you beside her as she takes whatever small steps she can toward risk and change will move her forward. You have accomplished many big and small things in life and she will too.

Running is bad for the joints anyways. ;) xoxo

Reply

alexandra October 27, 2014 at 8:44 pm

Count on me.

xo

Reply

Virginia October 28, 2014 at 7:42 am

I commented over there, but I wanted you to know how much that article hit home for me today. We’re really struggling with our middle daughter who sounds so much like your M. My girl is 6 and is homesick every day at school. Crying, trying to get the nurse to call me and pick her up. The thing is, though, she is just like my husband (who went through an identical stage when he was in first grade). My husband hates change, is shy, is often overly critical of himself and can be frustratingly melancholic. However, just like with our daughter, he is kind and thoughtful, loyal and hardworking, confident once he’s mastered a skill, and so easy to love.

All that to say, I really appreciate your honesty today. I also think that, just like I tell my husband, for every “bad” quality you’re worried you’ve passed on, please look at all the qualities you do love about her and know that your loved ones see those qualities mirrored in you.

Reply

Dana Talusani October 28, 2014 at 10:29 am

Virgina,

Miss M. was EXACTLY like your daughter when she was in first grade. She would cry almost daily at school at some point because she’d be overcome with homesickness. It broke my heart. Big hugs to you and your little one.

Reply

C. Troubadour October 28, 2014 at 3:35 pm

I’d say from the response at Huff Po, you had nothing but the best of welcomes for your story. Thrilled for you there — but as for the events that generated the writing, I’m hoping it gets easier.

The flip side of Miss M.’s experience: I stuck with some things I regret doing for longer than I should have because I lost the joy those activities gave me. Not that it sounds like running gave Miss M. joy per se before she joined running club, but I think knowing when to quit because you need to find something that does bring you joy is important. I love that you’re encouraging her by changing the game to be more on her terms — being with her.

Reply

Jade @ Tasting Grace October 28, 2014 at 10:43 pm

Thank you for writing so honestly about this and I think many of us can relate. I know I too have cut and run at things that seemed too daunting. It’s totally understandable, but it does become a problem when it keeps you from doing something you really are passionate about or from an important growing experience (sometimes only recognizable in hindsight). I wonder if there is a way you can help take out the sting and fear of failure out for her. Help her do a thought experiment of what would it look like if things did go wrong, and then what? Most often, no big deal. Come up with a Plan B and who cares what other people think? Those who matter will be impressed with you anyway for trying, and those who aren’t don’t need to matter. That kind of thing. I think sometimes fears weigh more heavily in our heads and are far scarier than the reality. Acknowledging our fears and working through them can do a lot to reduce their power. It’s human to want to quit sometimes, but it’s possible to find tools to help us lovingly, compassionately, and kindly face and banish our fears too.

Reply

Jane October 31, 2014 at 8:54 pm

We are struggling with this very issue with our pre-teen and it’s driving me batty. It’s good to know we’re in good company – your article and the thoughtful comments you received are proof! (Congratulations on the double (yay!) Huffington coverage!)

Reply

Cancel reply

Leave a Comment

Previous post:

Next post: