Crack Brussels Sprouts Salad

January 14, 2019

Well, hey there. It’s been a while.

And I feel bad, because I promised the recipe for this shaved Brussels sprouts salad weeks ago, and so many of you were super excited to try it and then my body flaked on me.

Because it is, ahem, me……nothing has been resolved yet. Lots of tests, lots of different doctors, enough blood drawn to feed a coven of vampires. No answers. We’re still looking.

It’s all been pretty bad, especially almost ruining Christmas with this bullshit, and I feel seriously guilty. My body may be cursed but I am familially blessed, because my husband and the girls and my Daddy-o have been incredibly understanding and generous and helpful these past few weeks. Having an extra driver in the family when you’re seeing double of everything is a lovely bonus, as well as having a Dad who is willing to drive a whole 2 hours to pick you up from a party in the MRI machine at an ungoldly hour of the morning.

My husband, poor guy, has been running this sinking ship without complaint and toting me all over town to appointments and doing crap errands and I don’t deserve him but I’m keeping him. Even if I have to lock him in a cage.*

 

Those of you who follow me on Facebook also know that I rang in 2019 by fainting on my stupid face. Who the Hell faints on their face?

Me, apparently and I have a whopper of a black eye, which wasn’t funny at first but now I think it’s kind of hilarious. I mean, it’s just my face, right? Plus, it gives me an excuse not to leave the house.

Bit of advice: if you’re coming off enough steroids to kill an elephant, don’t go strolling around solo in the middle of the night.

 

But back to this salad, yo.

 

 

It’s crack.

I did not anticipate falling in love with this salad but I fell hard and fast. I made this salad right after Thanksgiving and I ate almost the entire batch myself and then made more and jealously hoarded it even though my husband loves it, too. I adore the man, but hands off my shaved Brussels sprouts salad, mmkay? I am ashamed to admit that I have made FIVE more batches of this salad since (and it makes a ton) and scarfed it right down.

A few things of note:

~It is worth it to make an extra trip to Whole Foods or wherever you can find pre-shaved Brussels sprouts. In a pinch, when I could only find whole Brussels sprouts, I halved them and put them through the food processor. It’s a pain in the arse. Especially if you are a lazy cow like yours truly. BUT. If you can get ’em shaved by someone else, do it. If you can’t, buck up and get out the Cuisinart, because you need this thing in your life.

~You will notice that there’s a ridiculous ratio of cheese and nuts to Brussels sprouts. This is no accident. Do not, do not, do not skimp on the cheese and the nuts. They transform this salad into something special and crave-worthy and it’s still a danged Brussels sprouts salad for God’s sake so listen to me and do not be stingy.

~I rarely use bottled salad dressings because they are notorious for containing crap olive oil but if you have a good, favorite raspberry vinaigrette, do it. I’ve listed my favorite below. A slightly sweet vinaigrette works wonders here as a contrast to the sharp, salty cheese.

~This salad is quite accommodating in that it can hang out in the refrigerator for several days and still be delicious. Mine never lasts more than 2 days, but if you’re not a glutton, don’t worry. It will keep.

~Get the criminally expensive, imported, sharp Pecorino Romano cheese. You. Are. Worth. It.

 

All right. Go forth and Brussels, young troubadors. I love you.

 

Crack Brussels Sprouts Salad

serves 8-ish, unless you are a frigging addict

 

2 12-ounce packages shredded Brussels sprouts (I get mine at Whole Paycheck)

1/2 cup thinly sliced shallot

1/2 teaspoon salt + more to taste

1/2 teaspoon pepper + more to taste

1/2 cup chopped flat leaf parsley (or 1/4 cup chopped fresh tarragon)

1 1/2-2 cups shredded Pecorino Romano cheese (I grind mine in the food processor, and advocate for 2 cups, but I am a salty cheese machine)

1 cup roughly chopped toasted walnuts (hazelnuts or almonds would also work, but do toast them)

1/4 teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes (I add more)

2/3-3/4 cup your favorite raspberry vinaigrette (I use Brianna’s Blush Wine Vinaigrette) or balsamic vinaigrette (if you use balsamic, add about 1 tablespoon sugar to the dressing)

1/3 cup pomegranate seeds or dried cranberries (optional but purty)

grated lemon zest (optional)

 

In a large colander, massage the shaved Brussels sprouts and the shallot with 1/2 teaspoon salt and 1/2 teaspoon pepper for a minute or two. Let drain over a bowl for an hour.

Discard any liquid in bottom of bowl.

Add parsley, cheese, red pepper flakes and 2/3 cup vinaigrette and refrigerate for 30 minutes. Taste for seasoning and add more salt, pepper or vinaigrette to your liking. Depending on how fresh your Brussels sprouts are, you might need more vinaigrette but tread lightly. Toss in nuts and pomegranate seeds.

 

This keeps well in the refrigerator for a couple of days, if you can keep yourself from Hoovering it down.

 

* Okay, okay, you’re right. My husband deserves his share of the dang crack salad. I’ll be better.

 

{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Annie January 14, 2019 at 10:06 am

This looks amazing! I love a shaved sprout salad. Good idea to buy them pre-shredded. It’s a pain to do it at home.
Xoxo

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Papa Guy January 14, 2019 at 10:24 pm

glad your OK. was concerned after soooo long. take care.

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elizabeth January 15, 2019 at 7:52 pm

I’ve been long meaning to give Brussels sprout salads a try, and this looks as good as any to give a shot. And I hope you get more productive answers to your medical issues soon, because that sounds annoying AF. But yay to a supportive husband and father because sadly, that is not an assumed task to take on!

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Foodiewife January 19, 2019 at 2:59 pm

Remember me? It’s been ages since I’ve visited your blog– and now I read about your health scares? I sure hope you’re so much better now. You haven’t lost that snarky way of writing that I so love reading. The salad, yo. Must make. My husband adores Brussels sprouts and he’d love this one. Get better!

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Dana Talusani January 23, 2019 at 1:44 am

Debbie, of course I remember you! I had the same thing happen years ago when I lost my Google reader–I got out of touch with so many. Lovely to see you here!

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