A Monday Ditty: What you learn

October 17, 2010

My last few posts have been sorta sweet and remarkably snark-free, and lemme tell ya, it’s about to damn near kill me.

If I’m not mean or nasty on a regular basis, I start to get depressed. So, for purely selfish reasons, I present…Gratitude on Monday.

Dear Universe, or God, or Mother Nature, or whomever it is that we answer to:

Thank you for teaching me, so early on, what was and what was not an appropriate source of protein, vitamins and minerals.

Thank you for a source of clean drinking water.

Thank you for teaching me, at the tender age of 7, the importance of Clearasil. I got the message, so why did you make me endure that mid-nose monstrosity for six whole months? A six-month zit is a bit excessive, don’t you think?

Thank you for pants. Apparently, I didn’t see their benefit right away, but I am now firmly on the “pants are good” side of the spectrum.

Thank you for my razor sharp fashion sense. I don’t understand why Project Runway keeps turning my application down?

Thank you for this hangover. Without it, I would still be drinking Rumpleminze.

And finally, thank you for sending concrete, definitive proof that I was not meant to be a redhead. I was hoping to channel  Dana Scully, but alas, I look like some bizarre Molly Ringwald/Lara Flynn Boyle hybrid. Even my husband was skeebed. I’ll stick with the generic blonde…promise.


{ 23 comments… read them below or add one }

Velva October 18, 2010 at 7:53 pm

Love the snarky! No need to be grateful on Mondays.

I enjoyed the photos too.


Angelina October 19, 2010 at 3:26 am

That was Great!


Maria October 19, 2010 at 4:10 am

You are too much! I tried to be a red head too. Want to know what happens to people with REALLY dark hair who try to go red? It turns coppertop Duracell orange. For real. And that was after a high school incident with Sun-In. I will let you finish laughing….

As for the fahion sense, I have some screaming evidence of the late 80’s early 90’s…Not cool, I assure you.


Maria October 19, 2010 at 4:12 am



Phoo-d October 19, 2010 at 5:54 am

You are rockin the tucked in turtleneck look! =) I was right there with you and with permed hair to boot.


gew October 19, 2010 at 1:27 pm

Perhaps you won’t believe me when I tell you that you look fantastic in all of these pictures, regardless of zits, hangovers, and/or high-waisted 80s jeans!


M @ Betty Crapper October 19, 2010 at 2:25 pm

Awesome awesome awesome. You have no shame and I love it. Clean drinking water. ick.


Amber October 19, 2010 at 6:05 pm

You are a liar. You keep telling me (and everyone else) about how ugly you are. LIAR.

On a brighter note, I enjoy your snarky self. Please do not cave into the whole grateful lie.

: )


Christine @ Fresh Local and Best October 19, 2010 at 6:48 pm

This is too funny!


Chiara October 20, 2010 at 2:46 am

The hangover picture is priceless!!! Don;t you love people who walk around snapping pics of you when you feel like you’re about to die?


Helena October 21, 2010 at 8:58 am

I love all the pictures! This is the kind of stuff I am grateful for, too. My sister has a blog carnival called “Small Treasures Tuesday” and I always link up things like “my middle finger is a treasure”.


Monet October 21, 2010 at 12:47 pm

So this was such a fun post! I love seeing old photographs from people’s childhoods and adolescence…these were great. Thank you for bringing a smile to my face…I certainly need it!


Liz October 22, 2010 at 3:05 am

You are too frickin funny. How did you not get a camel toe situation with those pants????


Naptimewriting October 22, 2010 at 11:26 pm

Since it is my job to comment six years after everyone else, I will pop in here and say I share your allergy to sweet, sunshiney posts. I, too, get twitchy after a few silver-lining-ish observations.

But even I don’t reveal how awful I looked in high school. Kudos. Fearless + honest = kickass.


The Curious Cat October 24, 2010 at 2:17 pm

I think I know why bullies picked on you – you’re so damn pretty and they were all jealous! Seriously girl – you look good with red hair too and ever so cute – even with a zit! :) xxx


Genevive July 11, 2012 at 5:18 pm

I used to be recommended this web site through my cousin. I am no longer sure whether this post is written through him as nobody else realize such specific approximately my trouble. You’re amazing! Thank you!


Cheap Seo Services July 13, 2012 at 7:08 pm

IzcrW2 wow, awesome article post.Really looking forward to read more. Want more.


www July 14, 2012 at 7:42 pm

DDVKLN1O8837 DDVKLN1O8837 DDVKLN1O8837 778817 DDVKLN1O8837


Article Directory July 15, 2012 at 8:22 am

NUoTwt Thanks a lot for the post.Much thanks again. Really Cool.


my homepage July 15, 2012 at 6:42 pm

HXW75 HXW75 HXW75 246973 HXW75


Get your Razor Blade Here July 16, 2012 at 9:18 am

Wonderful beat ! I wish to apprentice whilst you amend your web site, how could i subscribe for a weblog web site? The account helped me a applicable deal. I had been tiny bit acquainted of this your broadcast provided brilliant clear idea


Zebra Zoologist July 16, 2012 at 6:07 pm

nice page you should write a weekly newsletter :)


site July 16, 2012 at 7:41 pm

44FOE4181LPN 44FOE4181LPN 44FOE4181LPN 782368 44FOE4181LPN


Leave a Comment

{ 1 trackback }

Previous post:

Next post: