Guest Post: Pear Martini

February 6, 2012

Greetings TKW readers,

It’s Mr. TKW here for my first, and hopefully not last, guest feature. Hey, I figure that if pops-in-law can do it, I can do it too.

First, a little back story. I met Kitch nearly eleven and a half years ago, became engaged four months later, moved in together, transitioned from a big city to a small town for work, and married shortly after.  Every decision during that time was a no-brainer (duh, I found a funny, smart, talented foxy mama), with the sole exception of saying goodbye to my beloved urban lifestyle. That decision hurt a little.

Dear readers, please understand that I grew up as a shy nerd, engrossed in my studies nearly continuously. After marrying young and divorcing in my late twenties, I discovered I now had some free time, a few coins to scrape together, new friends, a little confidence and a whole city to explore. The next four years were…a blur. Remember the Vince Vaughn character from the movie “Swingers?” Yup, that was me.

This hipster doofus lived the stereotypical bachelor lifestyle: happy hour with co-workers, dinner with my mates, clubbing, and the inevitable 2 AM greasy diner visit (while trying to score digits whenever possible…wait, I just sounded so ’90s right there…forget I said that).  I also developed a strong affinity for techno and electronic music (which Kitch, the rocker chick that she is, can’t abide). As exciting as that lifestyle may sound, it became oddly routine, particularly the libations involved. I grew tired of the standard fare of microbrews, Seven-n-sevens and Jack-n-diets. And then an event of tremendous importance changed forever my imbibing ways: the purchase of a seemingly innocuous little manual called The Art of the Cocktail by Philip Collins (I can hear you humming Sussudio in your head, but it’s not the same guy, and let’s face it, that song blows).

The experimentation then began, with some good–and not-so-good–outcomes. A sampling of my notes:

Vodka or gin martini: not bad, a nice burn, a classic staple to fall back to.

Scotch: odor brings a Proustian flashback to the antiseptic scent of a hospital in India. Next…

Rusty Nail (Scotch and Drambuie): not bad, but the bartender gave me a strange look and said “Here you go, old man.”

Manhattan: “Here you go, old lady.”

Appletini: raises doubts about my sexual orientation. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

Moscow Mule (Vodka and ginger beer): ginger is only meant to be consumed in small quantities. I think that’s why it is barely touched on sushi plates.

Stinger (Brandy and creme de menthe): like having liquor and minty mouthwash mixed together. Blech!

Margarita: not really part of this list, but I just wanted go on record that ordering this outside of a Mexican restaurant or resort is a serious violation of the man code. Sad to say I know guys who have done this.

Singapore Sling, Zombie, etc: “Too many notes, Mozart.”

I never did discover perfection in a glass during my (mis)adventures. It was not until many years later, after retiring from the single life to marital bliss, that I found a potion that comes fairly close, for my taste at least.

I present to you the Pear Martini: elegantly simple, a subtle burn, flavorful, age appropriate and somewhat androgynous.

Pear Martini

3 oz Absolut pear vodka

1 oz Domaine de Canton ginger liqueur

freshly squeezed juice from half a lemon

A splash of simple syrup, which is optional, depending on how sweet you like your cocktails

Shake together in a tumbler and serve in a martini glass over crushed ice. Makes two drinks.

Sometimes late at night when everyone is asleep, I’ll mix up one of these, wrap the headphones around my ears and listen to a steady mix of The Crystal Method, The Chemical Brothers and Morcheeba.  I’ll close my eyes and drift off to Club TKW.  Shhh…let’s keep that between us.

{ 62 comments… read them below or add one }

Sarah February 6, 2012 at 11:21 am

Holy crap, you’re the male version of Kitch, Mr. TKW. Like, for reals. A match made in heaven.

Kitch might be saddened to hear that I was a sucker for the techno age, too. Chemical Brothers and a long, fast, hungover run on Sunday mornings? Let’s just say I’ve had my share.

The drink notes were hilarious and spot on, too!


Christine @ Coffees & Commutes February 6, 2012 at 4:46 pm

My reaction exactly!

P.S. Mr. TKW, I think you would fit into my neighbourhood spectacularly! You are welcome to Canada anytime.


TKW February 6, 2012 at 11:28 am

Fite! You have betrayed me! Techno? Awww, fuck all. I love you anyways.


Jody February 6, 2012 at 11:59 am

Techno? Okay, we must go dancing. In a reversal of the usual gender roles, you and Pasquale can bounce and wave your arms all night while Kitchy and I get hammered in a booth. Sounds PERFECT!!!!


Mr. TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:32 pm

You’re on! But there needs to be reasonable amount of space between me and Pasquale on the dance floor. Section 7 article 3 of the Man Code.


Stacia February 6, 2012 at 12:11 pm

You’re so money, Mr. TKW. (Love that movie.) And I bet you’re a whole lot cooler than Vince Vaughn.


Dana February 6, 2012 at 12:16 pm

What a lovely looking cocktail, Mr Kitch!


Amber February 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Have you or Mrs. TKW tried sex on the beach (the drink)? A favorite of mine. :)

Techno? Must agree with Kitch, I would prefer rock. Or rap.


TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:25 pm


Rap? Really? You gotta send me some good ones, baby,because I just can’t get on that train. Maybe I just don’t know what’s out there?


Mr. TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:34 pm

A Tribe Called Quest, baby. Dig it!


Wendi @ Bon Appetit Hon February 6, 2012 at 12:18 pm

Dang, I was all set to use the money reference. And now I got nothing except to say “Welcome Sir TKW, nice to have you around these parts”.


TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:27 pm


I think you are the internet equivalent of the welcome wagon. Thank you.xo


absence of alternatives February 6, 2012 at 12:54 pm

Can we request next feature topic already? Tom Collins? Have you ever found a good Tom Collins?!

You two are so cute. You should duel it out right here: Techno vs (Kitch, what are you into?)


TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:29 pm


No Tom Collins, but a good Vodka Collins we can do. Upcoming.


Jenna February 6, 2012 at 1:26 pm

Oh man, you DO sound like Kitch! I guess it was a match made in heaven. And I think next time I’m having the drink dilemma (“what the crap do I order, think quick, think quick”), I’ll remember your post and fall back on this exact drink.


Justine February 6, 2012 at 2:48 pm

Loved this entry! That sense of humor rocks.

I echo all the other commenters here who said you were match made in heaven. Seriously. What a cute couple you two must make.

I have to say, Pear Martini is lovely, but being Asian I have an affinity for Lychee Martini. Not so sure it will break any man codes with that one though… you’re on your own with that one :)

Again, great post!


Camille Brightsmith February 6, 2012 at 2:55 pm

Long live the metrosexual….even in that funny small town where you live….you manage to be metro Mr. Witch.


Mr. TKW February 6, 2012 at 4:13 pm

Doing my best to make this funny small town cool. And fashionable.


TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:19 pm

We ain’t cool. Or fashionable. But we make good libations.


Mr. TKW February 6, 2012 at 4:10 pm

Sincere thanks for all the kind comments.


Anjee February 6, 2012 at 4:55 pm

LOL this was great Mr kitch!


Katybeth February 6, 2012 at 5:00 pm

My dearly departed husband introduced me to his idea of a perfect Martini and while I could barely drink one..I did and still do appreciate the art of making a Martini…Joe always said that most people don’t understand the beauty of the Martini process and therefore make a subpar martini at best..obviously you “get it.”



TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:17 pm


What my husband failed to say is that a glass of this sucker always gets you laid.

*Toasting to Joe* I love you.


SuziCate February 6, 2012 at 5:20 pm

You are definitely a male version of Kitch! What a perfect match you are…throw in the pear martini and a match made in heaven!


TKW February 6, 2012 at 7:31 pm


Bring Dirt Man over for one any time.


bryan February 6, 2012 at 7:33 pm

I have always wanted to meet the Mr. thanks for the little peek! Great post by the way, what a great drink.


Cathy February 6, 2012 at 8:30 pm

Sounds divine with the ginger. I bet that’s what makes the drink. I think I will try this except skip the simple syrup. Actually, can I come over? I’d hate to buy a whole bottle of that Absolut Pear vodka and then hate it. Plus I heard you guys go snow. We got nothin’ out here.


TKW February 7, 2012 at 9:27 am


I definitely would skip the simple syrup–I don’t think it needs it at all. Come on over for a drink anytime!


Heather February 6, 2012 at 8:32 pm

Mr. TKW you are awesome! I can totally see why you fell for the amazing Kitch :) Match made in Heaven!
Ashamed to say that I shook what my mama gave me to more than my share of techno… I don’t own any so does that redeem me???


Privilege of Parenting February 6, 2012 at 9:08 pm

Wow Mr. KW—great to meet you virtually. If you’re so money as Vince Vaughn I’m Woody Allen… in Take the Money and Run and I much appreciate your metro-sexual music and libation counsel (as I secretly sip my Manhattan in the corner of the dark shame-filled bar… well, now and again). What do you think of Kir Royals (when you’re trying to drink with a lady and make it special)?

The Pear Martini does sound excellent, however it might be Steely Dan I’m listening too if everyone’s gone to sleep, and even if I’m never going back to my old school I can’t help but remain old school.

As for Scotch, I’d switch to Irish Whiskey and give it another shot, maybe a double (maybe listen to Jhini by Indian Ocean, nicely hypnotic and transporting).

Here’s to a top-rate couple—Cheers


Mr. TKW February 6, 2012 at 9:51 pm

Thanks for the comment. I don’t think a man has anything to prove when drinking with a lady. Kir Royales are perfect for such a scenario. Love the production values and tight sound of Steely Dan. I will follow your advice regarding Irish Whiskey.
Salud, my friend.


Barbara February 7, 2012 at 5:58 am

Mr. TKW: I must take issue with your Stinger comment. Back in the 60’s…it was the after dinner drink of choice. With everyone. Now I confess I wouldn’t drink one now, but only because at my age I can’t handle after-dinner drinks. :)
Your pear martini sounds lovely….and your presentation is divine. Let’s hear more from you!


Mr. TKW February 7, 2012 at 10:14 am

Stinger = liquid version of an after-dinner mint? Hmmmm.


Tinne from Tantrums and Tomatoes February 7, 2012 at 7:15 am

Firstly : welcome to mr kitch.
Secondly: that drink looks divine and just what I need after this morning’s car trouble (what it is 3pm here I’m allowed to lust after a drink)


TKW February 7, 2012 at 9:28 am


You have car trouble today, too? What’s in the water? Pear martinis for everyone!


Phoo-d February 7, 2012 at 8:41 am

Welcome to the online world of snark and libation Mr. Kitch! I do believe that your manly mastery of bartending could make even an appletini seem straight. Love the use of ginger liqueur here- how have I missed this ingredient?!? I love a good pear martini and haven’t had one in ages. It is time to fix that immediately!


TKW February 7, 2012 at 9:30 am


We wouldn’t have thought of the ginger liqueur, either, but we were served the pear martini at the St. Julien hotel in Boulder and begged shamelessly to find out what was in it!


elizabeth February 7, 2012 at 9:17 am

Hi Mr. TKW and welcome!

First off, though, I have to take issue with something. Firstly: gin>vodka in martinis. It’s just science. But I highly suggest the Vesper: 1 part vodka to 2 or 3 parts gin, a splash of Lillet, served ice-cold. If it was good enough for James Bond, it’s good enough for me.

But I am 100% with you on scotch–the stuff is wasted on me because of the smell.

If you ever find yourself in New York, you and TKW absolutely must go to Rye in Chelsea–they make pretty much anything and the vibe is a little like Swingers-meets-Manhattan, circa 2010. If that makes sense at all.


TKW February 7, 2012 at 10:04 am

Oooh, Elizabeth, a Vesper is a capital idea!


Mr. TKW February 7, 2012 at 10:12 am

I’ve had the Vesper. Shaken, not stirred. I then bedded an enemy agent, skied off a cliff, and parachuted into a shark-filled tank, which I escaped from in a submersible sports car, much to surprise of many onlookers at the beach. Just another day in the life.


Contemporary Troubadour February 7, 2012 at 7:58 pm

Welcome, Mr. TKW! You clearly share musical tastes with my other half — he queues up the techno when he has a loooooooooong stretch of computer coding to do. But for lengthy home improvement projects like repainting, caulking, etc., he throws on Weird Al. This is only slightly more tolerable for me, but at least we can sing along to the latter …?

Your pear martini has convinced me not to donate our martini shaker. It was getting dusty from severe lack of use (woeful dietary restrictions), but I have hope that it will be called back into duty. This will be the perfect inaugural libation :)


Papa Guy February 7, 2012 at 10:20 pm

We prefer the simple elagance of a real martini. Vodka and Vermouth, shaken not strred and served with a fat olive. very nice Thank You


Kelly February 7, 2012 at 10:28 pm

I have a feeling my guy’s favorite drink (after all things beer) is an Alabama Slammer. Meanwhile, I’m almost always a rum & coke or gin & tonic girl. Seems like a role reversal right?

Ooh, new series: Mr TKW gives personality readings based on submitter’s drink of choice!


Jane February 8, 2012 at 6:11 pm

A match made in heaven! (hipster doofus? I think not!) Who knew that Mr. TKW could deliver as well as his better half? Just wish you two lived in MY neighborhood….or at least within driving distance!


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Now that sounds good.


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