Happy New Year, dear Readers! Have you recovered from those three four Appletini’s yet?
I’m linking up with MamaKat’s Writing Workshop today, answering the prompt: What are the top 10 things your kids said this year? Thank goodness for Facebook and their archives–otherwise, this weak mind would’ve struggled with this one. This is a good reminder to myself to write that shit down. Because I will forget it.
Most of the quotes come courtesy of Miss M. this year, because the stuff that comes out of the mouths of first-graders is crazy good.
So, without further ado, my favorite things uttered by Minx mouths this year:
10. (Miss M.) “Whoa! Hey Mama! I just coughed and farted at the same time!”
9. (Miss D.) “Hey Mom, do you know what my personal motto is? It goes like this: I am awesome. That is all.”
8. (Miss M., while coloring) “Purple always dazzles up a picture.”
7. (Miss M.) “Mommy, can I please have some breakfast? My dump truck is empty.”
6. (Miss M.) to Daddy: “Hey Daddy, someday will you show it to me?” Hubs: “Show you what?” M: “The BatCave.” ~yes, my kid thinks her father is Batman.
5. (Miss D.), while playing a video game with her sister: “Don’t worry, M. It’s okay to blow them up. They want to be blown up so they can live on as fireworks.”
4. (Miss M.), in response to her teacher’s prompt: “You can’t teach an old dog…” M: “…how not to poo on trees.”
3. (Miss M.): “Hey Daddy, I’m a velociraptor!” Hubs: “How so?” M.: “Because I am small and fast and I won’t let Mommy cut my toenails.”
2. (Miss M.): “Mommy, do starfish pee?” Me: “Umm…probably?” M: “That’s the best you can do?”
*drumroll, please*
1. (Miss M. after her night time story): “Mom, I love you 100.” Me: “I love you 1,000.” M: “I love you one million.” Me: “I love you to the moon and back.” M: “Ha! I win! I love you like Google.”
I understand how Miss M. feels, because I love y’all like Google. You’re the jam on my toast.
Thanks for reading and commenting and sharing your wit and beautiful words with me in 2012. I’m looking forward to 2013 and wishing you mucho awesomeness in 2013.
Coming soon: It’s January–time for another Shrink-My-Ass-Month. Hope you’ll swing on by!
{ 47 comments… read them below or add one }
I remember you talking about some of these, and yes, they’re all rather priceless (and purple is STILL my favorite color. Forever.) Much love to you for 2013 ;)
Priceless!
That Minx! She’s amazing!
Is it already time for Shrink My Ass month? That’s my favorite month EVER. ;)
Amber,
Shrink My Ass Month is definitely necessary this year. Alas.
I love those especially that she thinks her daddy is batman! My little guys think there dad is too how cute!
Emily H.,
There must be a lot of BatCaves around the US…
LOVE. I’m going to write down more of my kids’ quotes this year. I’ll probably tweet them, cause, you know, that’s easier than writing. Heh.
I love the “awesome” motto. I mean really what else does one need in a motto. I think nothing. :)
Andie,
I sure wish I had that child’s self-esteem!
Those Minxes are so damn quotable!! And cute to boot, too. It’s been such a pleasure reading about them this year.
Ohmygod your Minxes slay me. I adore them. I also love that you made the list about their awesomeness. I could see a different parent listing some pretty different items (not so flattering), and while that stuff’s got its place too, it’s harder to remember the amazing if you don’t give it room.
Love.
Absence,
They are awesome. They can burp and fart simultaneously. :) xoxo
The Minxes are hilarious. And Miss D’s personal motto is fantastic.
I wish I’d had that kid when I taught first grade. She’d sure dazzle up a classroom.
Shrink-My-Ass Month? I need to get my lapel ribbon and hop on the treadmill, but I just bought Almonettes.
Maggie,
What is an Almonette? Must. Know.
Absolute classic quotes! Kids provide so much fun and entertainment! Yours is especially witty and bright! Little star! :) xxx
Curious,
Little star that can burp and fart at the same time :)
Also–in honor of Shrink-My-Ass-Month, would you mind if I joined you, only I’m going to be My-Ass-Must-Squat-Month? :)
Elizabeth,
I’m squatting, too. My thighs are 2 bowlfuls of jelly. Crap.
Well, then we’ll suffer together!
But that Thigh Torture Device at the gym is very unnerving. I always think that people can see my real estate when I get on that thing. Awkward.
I love you like Google…now that is the best yet! Love the things kids come up with!
Suzicate,
That girl was six when she said that…I had to stifle my laughter.
Can always count on your words to dazzle up my in box. Love these. (By age 20, alas, the kids are much less funny.)
Katrina,
First and second grade are the diamond mines. I swear, they have no filter. I volunteer in M.’s class every Friday, and the kids tell me stuff that I know would curl their mothers’ toes.
Example: “I’m going to check out this book about bullies because my mommy says I’m a horrible bully to my little brother.”
Example: “My mom beat my butt this weekend.” Me: “Did you deserve it?” Kid (smiling slyly): “Totally.” Me: “Was it worth it?” Kid: “Oh yeah!”
Example: “I’m gonna check out this book about skunks, because they stink just like my dad.”
My dump truck is empty. Love that child like Google. :)
Tina,
That one made my husband laugh so hard, because he was thinking of a different “dump truck.”
I am dazzled by their brillance and purple is on the top of my color chart!
Happy New Year!
Katybeth,
All saucy girls love purple. :)
I’m with Miss M. I love you like Google, too.
Smooch!
Goose,
We are in Google Love together.
Love,
Duck
Loved these, of course – especially the BatCave one. Every Dad should have a BatCave.
Shrink My Ass Month sounds like something I must be part of. Sadly.
Lisa,
At least you have young thighs. Wait until they get middle-aged. *freakshow*
I am going to smile and choose to go with the idea that my thighs are young. Forty’s the new twenty, right? :)
Of course!
Wonderful quotes! Those starfish probably do pee, so I thought that you should have gotten credit for that one. Loved this!
Tina,
I honestly meant to Google it, but I forgot. Maybe today…
Love this… Love that she thinks her dad is Batman :) love the starfish and google … just awesome. Cheers to a happy 2013 :)
Ayala,
Strangely enough, when Awesome Stepkid Ro was her age, he also thought that hubs was Batman. Why Batman, I wonder?
Treasure them. :)
Purple does me in. I can’t get enough of it. It really does change the world.
I knew humor was genetic. These rock as do the minxes and their Mom!
Sweetie: “I don’t trust Romney.”
4yo: “If you don’t trust him, don’t tell him anything.”
Happy New Year to you and your witty family.
I LOL’d at the colouring quote
These are great!!! First graders are the best. My first grader has been experimenting with new words and using them in the most inappropriate of contexts. It makes for great laughter!!! My most favorite quote from Keegan recently is “mom I think Wicket is pregnant to come in”. I asked him if he meant begging. He said “yeah but pregnant is more fun to say!” When I told him what pregnant meant he just fell to the floor laughing when he realized that our male dog would never be pregnant to come in!!! He’s a hoot!
So classic! I need to remember to write down my kids hilarious statements sometime, they’re all so random!
I love your minxes.