End of School Hurrah: Pepperoni Pizza Bites

May 19, 2015

Last week, smack in the middle of my post-LTYM-Boulder hangover, an email popped up in my inbox from the other school. Miss D.’s middle school. The middle school isn’t nearly as needy with their demands as the elementary school; I mean, they’ve never asked me to make 5 gallons of soup and salad for twenty, so I figured it was safe to click on it.


It was a call for food. For teenagers. During the final week of school. ARG! Can’t a girl catch a break?

I mean, I was still in full-blown hangover mode. I was sporting a three-day old t-shirt that was stained and rumpled and decidedly funk, I was bloated and lethargic from carb overload and the only activity (besides consuming carbs) that I could find enthusiasm for was watching many, many episodes of Silicon Valley.

Unfair, universe! When that email popped onto my screen, I still had two more days of gluttony and sloth planned for myself! That’s definitely the rule, right? 2 nerve-wracking, public performances earns a girl at least 5 days of roaming around listlessly in yoga pants and dirty socks, no?

Hmph. To be fair, the middle school asks very little of me, and the food in question was to celebrate the completion of a long-lasting and difficult project in Advanced English. Miss D. worked her butt off on that project, and I’m sure the other kids had done the same. They deserved a party and some tasty snacks, so SlothMom needed to pull her shit together and rustle up some food.

After the Great Soup Debacle a few weeks ago, I was damn sure that I didn’t want to worry about transporting piping hot food anywhere. There are suicidal squirrels out there, roaming free, just waiting to dart in front of an unsuspecting mom car. I wasn’t taking any chances.

I settled on this recipe, because you can make these little nibbles in advance and freeze them, and then just lightly heat them before transport. They’re good warm or even at room temperature, and I like recipes that are forgiving like that. Note to self: soup is not forgiving. Next time you need to bring something tasty to a school function, give soup the big-ass boot and make pepperoni pizza bites instead. Pizza bites are golden.

What’s not to like about little cute bites of cheesy, pepperoni-laden deliciousness? Pimply, gawky, hormone-churning humans love anything resembling pizza, so this was a no-brainer.*

It also didn’t hurt that this recipe is super simple and features ingredients I already had on-hand, because hungover bitches are NOT changing out of crusty t-shirts to drive to the store. I figured I could knock out a double batch of these beauties in an hour and still have plenty of time left to nosh on leftover scalloped potatoes (don’t judge!) and catch up on Silicon Valley shenanigans.

Which is exactly what I did. And those teenagers swarmed on these like starving locusts. This time, I win.


Pepperoni Pizza Bites

makes 24 (can double the recipe)

slightly adapted from Rachael Ray


3/4 cup flour

3/4 teaspoon baking powder

3/4 cup whole milk

1 lightly beaten egg

1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

1 cup diced pepperoni

1/4 teaspoon pizza/Italian seasoning

marinara sauce, for serving


Preheat oven to 375. Grease a 24-cup mini-muffin tin.

In a large bowl, whisk together the flour and baking powder. Whisk in the milk and egg. Stir in the mozzarella, pepperoni and pizza seasoning. Let the batter stand for ten minutes.

Spoon batter into mini-muffin cups and bake for 20-25 minutes or until puffed and golden. Cool 5 minutes and remove from pan.

Serve with marinara sauce for dipping.

If you choose to make these ahead and freeze them, you can reheat the frozen bites on a baking sheet in a 350 degree oven for about 8-10 minutes.

*Apparently, small, white, fluffy dogs love these pizza bites, too. Mozz-man was yipping and dancing around the kitchen after these things came out of the oven, desperate for a sample. And yeah, I caved.


{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }

Biz May 19, 2015 at 7:56 am

Yes, you most deservedly needed to be in yoga pants for days after your weekend! Glad to know that Round 2 – you won! :D


Eli@coachdaddy May 19, 2015 at 10:44 am

This is how you do it, Dana! I’m far beyond my pimply days, but pizza bites will always win me over. (I think you should have posted a selfie with this, by the way.)


elizabeth May 19, 2015 at 2:43 pm

It’s hard to go wrong with anything that incorporates pizza–good for you for finding a way to bring portable version that didn’t require strapping it into your car lest any suicidal squirrels cross your path!


Sherri May 20, 2015 at 7:11 am

My kids would love this! All the end of year school stuff is drowning me here too….


Tiffany May 22, 2015 at 4:17 am

Those sound great! And you totally deserve sloth mode! Glad you are doing that!


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